BREAKUP!! im so upset

[Txgurl06]

i need some advice. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we have been doing good and bad. We have been arguing a lot lately over little stuff. Today he told me that he doesnt think we should be together maybe we should take some time apart. I feel like such a failure! We planned on so much one day and im just so stressed out. And im not sure if its working or not but i love him soooo much and i have been there for him through everything. He said maybe we should end it and be friends I dont know how to let go because im not ready but he is. I think im making stuff worse but making him stay and holding on. Im sooo upset. Im crying my heart out! It just turned out so different and i never thought he would really be tired of me. I just dont know what to do!! sorry i needed to vent.

[mizzwanned]

It's okay to vent when you feel like you do. Sometimes you just have to let things happen on their own though, don't force anything. Maybe if you let him go for a little then he will miss you. And you can get some time to think. Whatever happens I hope you feel better. 2 yrs is a long time..did he say why it's not working?

[Sam*my*YoRkie]

Yeah girl,
Everyone goes through this at one point in a relationship. Maybe he is stressing or really worried about something.
When you guys ar together alone and calmed down take some time and talk about it... ask why is this happening? whats wrong? you know and if he wants a lil break then it will be. He will definetly miss you and then take it from there. But does he love you as much as you love him? You need to ask him whats up?

[Txgurl06]

i guess because we have just been bickering a lot. I just feel like i cant do it. We are still together right now he went to his brothers for a couple of hours. but i know he is just staying with me because he knows it hurts me. But i think i may be making it worse making him stay if he doesnt want to. He is truely everything to me really and my life would COMPLETELY change. i dont know hes 21 and maybe he just feels tied down 2 yrs is a long time. I just feel like i get the worst end of everthing ive done sooo much for him and i have NEVER did anything to hurt him. I wish he would see that hes letting something good go. I know im a sissy and need to suck it up but really truely it hurts sooo much. I started putting his stuff in a bag because he started to then stopped because of me so maybe when he gets back tonight i will tell him that I will let him go if thats what he really wants and i support his decision. I scared he wont miss me at all tho.

[Txgurl06]

Originally Posted by Sam*my*YoRkie

Yeah girl,
Everyone goes through this at one point in a relationship. Maybe he is stressing or really worried about something.
When you guys ar together alone and calmed down take some time and talk about it... ask why is this happening? whats wrong? you know and if he wants a lil break then it will be. He will definetly miss you and then take it from there. But does he love you as much as you love him? You need to ask him whats up?

at first i know he loved me more than anything but now im not so sure. so much stuff has gotten so stressful. Money is one thing and just little stuff.

[Sam*my*YoRkie]

Originally Posted by Txgurl06

i guess because we have just been bickering a lot. I just feel like i cant do it. We are still together right now he went to his brothers for a couple of hours. but i know he is just staying with me because he knows it hurts me. But i think i may be making it worse making him stay if he doesnt want to. He is truely everything to me really and my life would COMPLETELY change. i dont know hes 21 and maybe he just feels tied down 2 yrs is a long time. I just feel like i get the worst end of everthing ive done sooo much for him and i have NEVER did anything to hurt him. I wish he would see that hes letting something good go. I know im a sissy and need to suck it up but really truely it hurts sooo much. I started putting his stuff in a bag because he started to then stopped because of me so maybe when he gets back tonight i will tell him that I will let him go if thats what he really wants and i support his decision. I scared he wont miss me at all tho.

Listen girl, I know its really hard for you right now... and you definetly love him with all your heart.... and you wish more than anything for it to work out then you will have to take some time to think for yourself, Do you really wanna argue everyday? same thing as always? Maybe with a lil time out he will come around. ... cause he really loves you too then he will make it work. It takes time and like i said maybe it is all this stress with arguing or things going wrong. Both of clear your heads... tell him " I wanna make this work... but I want you to make it work too..." Do you feel like taking a lil break too?

[Txgurl06]

Originally Posted by Sam*my*YoRkie

Listen girl, I know its really hard for you right now... and you definetly love him with all your heart.... and you wish more than anything for it to work out then you will have to take some time to think for yourself, Do you really wanna argue everyday? same thing as always? Maybe with a lil time out he will come around. ... cause he really loves you too then he will make it work. It takes time and like i said maybe it is all this stress with arguing or things going wrong. Both of clear your heads... tell him " I wanna make this work... but I want you to make it work too..." Do you feel like taking a lil break too?

sometimes but thats just when im mad. But when i really think about loosing him i know thats not what i want so i try to make things better

[koolbreeze]

alright girl... here is some straight up honesty... sounds like hes already moved on and he has just been sticking it out not to hurt you. when in reality all he did was make it worst by staying. ya'll not married and you don't have kids and you are young. don't waste you time crying over him. trust he is not crying over you. just let him go. his loss. he figure it out later while in the mean time you take some me time and concentrate on you. forget him. you will look back on this in a couple of months and say "why was i trippin over that fool??" i know its easier said than done. but i've been there. and when i finally said ok enough i was stuck with 2 kids and a trifflin baby daddy. i don't even talk to that loser anymore. but i get that check every month. so trust me i know how you feel. you may think you all in love with him and can't see your life without him but you can and it won't be so bad. {{HUGS}} it WILL get better i promise.

[Ozzie'sperson]

It's funny that you are posting this tonight. My mom and I were talking earlier tonight and I made the statement that I did the same stupid thing in both my personal and professional lives: Took too much sh*t and stayed too long!!!

Now have a great job after getting mad enough to leave the other one almost 7 years ago. And my personal life: I don't have one. (Like I said, I stayed too long and it did a lot of damage. I'm probably much too cautious as a result, completely intolerant and thus not seeing anyone after a series of disappointing dating disasters.)

Please don't make that mistake!

If you are really meant to be with this guy -- and forgive me if I seem skeptical that that's the case -- it will happen. Know this though: even if he does come back, you will resent him for this. You may want to forgive and forget, and even think you have, but it will always be between you.

But he is 21, and that is awfully young. Probably much too young to be in a serious, long-term relationship. Let him get a taste of what's out there that he thinks he is missing. As a general rule, guys mature much later than girls -- if they grow up at all. (Unfortunately, I know guys in their 40s, 50s, and even 60s who are less mature than my 16-year-old godson.)

I know it's painful and devastating right now. Rejection is such a vicious thing.
Give yourself some time to heal. Hang out with your friends. Try not to dwell on it. It will be hard, but try. If he is worthy of you, he'll come around.
If not, you are SO much better off without him.

[doortego]

Praying for peace & wisdom for you in this sad time.

[Patti]

2 years ago my dtrs boyfriend of 3 years told her he needed his space, he practically lived at our house, and I fed him daily and took them to Vegas the month before he broke up with her. He actually met someone else. But she cried over it for awhile but realized he wasn't who she thought he was and moved on. It was hard but at that age you still have so much life to live and if it is meant to be it will work out, if not Mr. Right will show up one day. It doesn't make it any easier it just is something most of us go thru. I hope you can work it out.

[Txgurl06]

thanks so much! I know whats right and i have known all along its just the point of pushing myself to do it. I dont have that many friends i mean i do but ones that i go out with just people from work and most of them my age have kids im 19. So i guess im young to. at points when i think it will be okay for us to be apart i dont think its too bad. its just the point of being lonely i guess. Me and him need to have a serious talk if not tonight than tomorrow. I have such a throbbing headache. thanks! i knew what right all along i just needed to have some support!

[Ozzie'sperson]

Well, you've definitely got that!

I don't know what I would have done without the support of good friends through my ordeal. And some years ago, I was able to return the favor for one of my best friends as she went through a divorce.

And you want to hear the GREAT part of that story? Last year, I had the joy of being her maid of honor as she married a long-time friend, a guy who had been in love with her since they were 13!!!! So, life has a funny way of working out sometimes.

HANG IN THERE!!!

[PANAMA69]

Girl you have us here, there is a lot of wisdom in here, I will be praying for you ok, maybe he is not the one for you, and believe when the one for you come oh boy, I have been maried for 13years and get better and better when I look back I really can't belive it I wasted my time, money, on him, that his loss not yours, you need someone that value your love, love you the way you are, and build your self worth, like mine is, he always make me feel the most beautiful woman in the whole world, even with out make-up

[Anna Banana]

Oh no! I'm sorry you're going through all this. If I were you, I'd just let things happen. If you stay together because you want to, he might become resentful, and you'll break up anyway a little while down the road. If you two take some time apart, you both can reevaluate yourselves and your relationship, and if you get back together, it will be so much better than it is now.

I know its hard...