Need advise on sending a card

[Lou]

I'll try to keep this short.
I have been working 2 part time jobs for quite a while now. Toward the end of January this year I was told my main job (librarian) was eliminated effective immediately. I still haven't found another part time job and my savings are pretty much gone. But here is the problem I need advice on.

The woman I reported to was supposed to also be my friend. The last couple of months last year I had noticed she was unavailable to me a lot and when I asked her if she and her boyfriend wanted to meet us for dinner she always had to work. When I was told about my job being eliminated she arranged for someone from HR to tell be during what was a scheduled meeting between the two of us. The boss just sat there while I listened in shock. I managed to ask her how long she had know she said since the budget was released. (That was the beginning of October.) So she knew this was happening for 4 months and never told me. I could have had 4 more months to look for another job!

Since were were friends we shared a lot of personal information and we consoled each other whenever we had problems. She was kind when each of my parents died and I did everything I could think of to help her when her father was diagnosed with a really nasty form of cancer. Well, her father died yesterday and I am just torn about how I should proceed. Do I send her a card or do I let it go? She is well aware of how hurt and angry I have been and since I don't think she is the person I thought she was I don't want to renew any type of relationship with her. That's it.

How would you go about addressing this issue?

[lovespandp]

I would just send her a simple card and give her your condolences. Nothing more, nothing less.

[Lisa and Pic]

I would also send a card expressing sympathy and that is it.

If she is a quality person at all, I imagine she feels guilty about what happened to you and did not know how to express it correctly. Or maybe she was not allowed because she was your supervisor. Whichever way, it appears she was a work friend only.

At least if you send her a card, you can feel some type of closure. That's my two cents for whatever it is worth.

[jadabug]

I would send a card also Lou. Just a short simple one.

[horsnaround]

Yup send a card. It's the right thing to do

[marcie]

Just a card. I think that is all you need to do.

[Wylie's Mom]

I feel like your heart is tugging at you to send the card....but only you know your heart, Lou, and I think when you follow it, you'll do the right thing for yourself.

[Lil Sis]

I agree .. A card. You have to be you, and as Ann said your heart is telling you to send the card.

[celstu1]

Yes, as Ann said, do the right thing for yourself. You won't have any regrets that way.

[Ldyrev1]

Originally Posted by lovespandp

I would just send her a simple card and give her your condolences. Nothing more, nothing less.

[yorkietalkjilly]

Treating others as you would like to be treated and forgiveness even when it isn't earned are both kindnesses to ourselves in the long run. Follow your heart.

[sandy simpson]

I would send her a card. When people hurt us or treat us unfairly, it is best not to get angry or hold a grudge. Find a place in your heart to forgive her actions and you will be at peace with it. Then move on and know you did did the right thing. She has lost a good friend and will forever regret her behavior. The bible says that love covers a multitude of sins and when we love (act out of love for others) it makes that person really stop and think. Certainly not the response most people would give.

[MauiGirl]

Sending a card will make you both feel better, so you should probably do it.

Who knows, it may even bridge the gap between you and lead to healing of past hurts .

[Lou]

You are all right and that is exactly what I will do. I guess my evil Lou wants her to squirm but it is the right thing to do. Thanks so much for being such great moral guides!