Opinions on Disciplining HUMAN Children - YorkieTalk.com Forums

RachelandSadie · 01-12-2011, 06:52 PM

I was just curious to know what everyone's opinions are on diciplining children. Are there any people that still believe in spanking, grounding, and and any other method of discipline?

Open discussion, all opinions are welcome NO DRAMA

megansmomma · 01-12-2011, 06:59 PM

I prefer duck tape and rope.

Beamers Mom · 01-12-2011, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by megansmomma

I prefer duck tape and rope.

LOL!

I believe in raising the hand of knowledge to the seat of ignorance

rtsmichele · 01-12-2011, 07:12 PM

Grounding yes. But physical violence. NO! NO! NO! There's nothing worse that being hit by someone that should go to the ends of the earth to protect you and keep you safe. It's the worst feeling in the world as a child.

lil fu fu girl · 01-12-2011, 07:19 PM

IMO....Discipline is essential. I believe that the many problems facing our youth are do to the lack of parenting.
I know.....not a very popular opinion.
In the immortal words of Goldie Hawn...once you have a baby...you can't be the baby anymore.
Children need discipline, they need mentors, and most of all the need parents who want to be present in their life and share their life experience with them.

Parenting is like gardening. If you just throw the seeds out into the yard and pay them no mind until harvest time, you will be lucky to have any crop at all. Planting them, fertilizing them, keeping the weeds and bad bugs away from them, and most of all, caring for them by providing the best environment will produce healthy, successful, and productive plants..... or in the other case.... children.

Mom to Hot Rod · 01-12-2011, 07:32 PM

I don't have children of my own just step kids whom I loved and treated as my own. There were many times we were tested and mind you I would have loved to wring their necks. I don't necessarily think beating a child is the way to discipline but an occasional spanking is not out of line, imo.

I know I had no desire to cross my parents as we would get the belt. This type of disciplining certainly did not damage me or siblings so I can't say there is anything wrong with it.

Ellie May · 01-12-2011, 07:41 PM

Kids need rules and discipline. I'm alll for time outs and losing privileges. Spanking? Heck no! First, we can use that as a fancy word, but the real word for it is hitting. There is no reason to hit your child. If that is what a parent has to do to get respect, I'm very sorry, but something is wrong somewhere. And when your child hits another child, what will you do then? Spank them? "You hit little Johnny and hitting is wrong, so come here and I will hit you." Whatevs. There are ways to raise a child without causing them pain.

julietravels · 01-12-2011, 07:47 PM

Oh boy, have you hit a nerve with me. I have 2 terrific adults, one is 30 and the other is 27. The best thing that ever happened was my attending a seminar called the 10 points of discipline when my oldest was in preschool. I thought it would be all about spanking etc. It wasn't, it was about how not to have to discipline your kids. I am so thankful that I listened and learned. The most important point was, once you say no, never change your mind. You can think about it before you commit, but never ever say yes, once you have said no. I have so many times heard kids argue with their parents and on the 5th time, the parent gives in. My kids never argued because they knew there was no point. Every child has something that is important to them, whether it is TV, computer or cell phone. You don't need to hit. If they go against the rules, take the important thing away. If you have to take everything away and leave them nothing but a mattress in their room, do it. Would you rather be the parent of a child that is socially successful or the friend of a drug addict or teenager who is pregnant? Set rules and your kids will follow them if you enforce them the first time, not the third. Set high expectation and they will meet them if you are there to help them succeed. I love my kids dearly and made them the most important thing in my life.

rtsmichele · 01-12-2011, 07:51 PM

:thum bup:

Quote:

Originally Posted by julietravels

Oh boy, have you hit a nerve with me. I have 2 terrific adults, one is 30 and the other is 27. The best thing that ever happened was my attending a seminar called the 10 points of discipline when my oldest was in preschool. I thought it would be all about spanking etc. It wasn't, it was about how not to have to discipline your kids. I am so thankful that I listened and learned. The most important point was, once you say no, never change your mind. You can think about it before you commit, but never ever say yes, once you have said no. I have so many times heard kids argue with their parents and on the 5th time, the parent gives in. My kids never argued because they knew there was no point. Every child has something that is important to them, whether it is TV, computer or cell phone. You don't need to hit. If they go against the rules, take the important thing away. If you have to take everything away and leave them nothing but a mattress in their room, do it. Would you rather be the parent of a child that is socially successful or the friend of a drug addict or teenager who is pregnant? Set rules and your kids will follow them if you enforce them the first time, not the third. Set high expectation and they will meet them if you are there to help them succeed. I love my kids dearly and made them the most important thing in my life.

Jinger · 01-12-2011, 08:01 PM

So many thoughts come to mind. A few important points I always followed (I have one 19-year-old daughter in college and one 17-year old son headed to college next year):
I try not to say "no" unless I have to, and then I don't reverse my decision (unless they are older and I've had a reasonable conversation...just like I would with an adult). When I say "no" my kids know it's important, and that I don't just say "no" without thinking about it.
I try to treat children with the respect I want them to show me.
Love them too much to argue with them...state the rule or decision and then tell them just that.
Always preserve the relationship.
I try to remember that discipline and punishment are two different things. Discipline is a great thing. Hitting, of any type, is not--in my opinion.
Also, I try to let "natural consequences" occur instead of punishment.
And Love, Love, Love them, unconditionally and with enthusiasm!

BabyGirl Rosie · 01-12-2011, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lil fu fu girl

IMO....Discipline is essential. I believe that the many problems facing our youth are do to the lack of parenting.
I know.....not a very popular opinion.
In the immortal words of Goldie Hawn...once you have a baby...you can't be the baby anymore.
Children need discipline, they need mentors, and most of all the need parents who want to be present in their life and share their life experience with them.

Parenting is like gardening. If you just throw the seeds out into the yard and pay them no mind until harvest time, you will be lucky to have any crop at all. Planting them, fertilizing them, keeping the weeds and bad bugs away from them, and most of all, caring for them by providing the best environment will produce healthy, successful, and productive plants..... or in the other case.... children.

Lack of parenting is a huge problem. Do you know how many kids are being raised by grandparents? Many of the parents are in jail for drugs or just dumped their kids off. It is hard to believe.

I think rules are essential and structure too. However, I am a very abstract sequential person.

Could be why I feel that way.

Britster · 01-12-2011, 08:12 PM

I'm not for spanking, hitting, whatever you want to call it in any way. I used to think I was for it... but I've changed my opinions. I just think love, patience, guidance, respect, etc, go a long ways more than spanking, yelling, etc. I would rather have a parent be a friend AND a parent, than being scared of them...

My parents were really open with me throughout everything in life. My mom has always told me a lot (sometimes maybe too much, lol) but I have a great relationship with both mom and dad, now divorced. They gave me options, and always listened to what I had to say whether it was ridiculous or not, they weren't very strict, and yes sometimes I was spoiled but I was never a spoiled brat. I'd say I turned out pretty good

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jinger

So many thoughts come to mind. A few important points I always followed (I have one 19-year-old daughter in college and one 17-year old son headed to college next year):
I try not to say "no" unless I have to, and then I don't reverse my decision (unless they are older and I've had a reasonable conversation...just like I would with an adult). When I say "no" my kids know it's important, and that I don't just say "no" without thinking about it.
I try to treat children with the respect I want them to show me.
Love them too much to argue with them...state the rule or decision and then tell them just that.
Always preserve the relationship.
I try to remember that discipline and punishment are two different things. Discipline is a great thing. Hitting, of any type, is not--in my opinion.
Also, I try to let "natural consequences" occur instead of punishment.
And Love, Love, Love them, unconditionally and with enthusiasm!

Quote:

Originally Posted by julietravels

Oh boy, have you hit a nerve with me. I have 2 terrific adults, one is 30 and the other is 27. The best thing that ever happened was my attending a seminar called the 10 points of discipline when my oldest was in preschool. I thought it would be all about spanking etc. It wasn't, it was about how not to have to discipline your kids. I am so thankful that I listened and learned. The most important point was, once you say no, never change your mind. You can think about it before you commit, but never ever say yes, once you have said no. I have so many times heard kids argue with their parents and on the 5th time, the parent gives in. My kids never argued because they knew there was no point. Every child has something that is important to them, whether it is TV, computer or cell phone. You don't need to hit. If they go against the rules, take the important thing away. If you have to take everything away and leave them nothing but a mattress in their room, do it. Would you rather be the parent of a child that is socially successful or the friend of a drug addict or teenager who is pregnant? Set rules and your kids will follow them if you enforce them the first time, not the third. Set high expectation and they will meet them if you are there to help them succeed. I love my kids dearly and made them the most important thing in my life.

Roccosmommy · 01-12-2011, 08:23 PM

NO physical violence whatsoever. Yelling, grounding, losing priveleges - YES. Also, one very major rule I have is that it's never ok to look for a reason or person or situation to blame for one's bad behavior...I tell my kids they are responsbile for their own actions, regardless. I don't usually have to listen to "but she..." or "they made me..." or "because it's not fair...". Nope, take responsibility and the consequences that come with it. TOO many parents these days look for a blame or reason for little Johnny or Suzy acting out in school, and before you know it they are irresponsible adults. Just my opinion.

Cha Cha · 01-12-2011, 08:29 PM

Parenting with Love and Logic by Jim Faye. Awesome parenting class/seminar/books. His logic is simple skills based on common sense parenting and keeping control without losing your cool. Really, I think any parenting class would give a parent a solid foundation. Some people think taking a parenting class is a sign of weakness or unnecessary, but it will be the best love you ever give your children. The only other thing is that teenagers are just smarter two year olds. So, if you can out smart your two year old, you will love your teenagers!!!

I never spanked or grounded. Not saying I don't believe in those methods, just saying I was never driven to use them. Every year my kids grew a year older, I enjoyed them that much more. I love being a parent.

Sammy Mommy · 01-13-2011, 12:38 PM

Hitting-NO!! taking away priviledges, grounding YES!! I just had an incident with my son who is almost 19. He lost the priviledge of having his friends over until further notice. If his friends can't show respect in my house then they are not welcome here. He wasn't too happy about it but he has to learn there are consequences for our actions. Kids need discipline, guidance and boundaries. And love!!

01-12-2011, 06:52 PM	#1
RachelandSadie No Longer a Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Kansas City, MO Posts: 5,748	Opinions on Disciplining HUMAN Children I was just curious to know what everyone's opinions are on diciplining children. Are there any people that still believe in spanking, grounding, and and any other method of discipline? Open discussion, all opinions are welcome NO DRAMA

01-12-2011, 06:59 PM	#2
megansmomma Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: S. W. Suburbs of Chicago, IL Posts: 12,235	I prefer duck tape and rope. __________________ “Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.” Mark Twain

01-12-2011, 07:32 PM	#6
Mom to Hot Rod Donating YT 5000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: MD Posts: 10,908	I don't have children of my own just step kids whom I loved and treated as my own. There were many times we were tested and mind you I would have loved to wring their necks. I don't necessarily think beating a child is the way to discipline but an occasional spanking is not out of line, imo. I know I had no desire to cross my parents as we would get the belt. This type of disciplining certainly did not damage me or siblings so I can't say there is anything wrong with it. __________________ www.kissecollar.com Soft Cone Collars for Post-surgery and much more! 10% (non-food) - Discount code YT10

01-12-2011, 07:41 PM	#7
Ellie May And Rylee Finnegan Donating Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Metro Detroit, MI Posts: 17,928	Kids need rules and discipline. I'm alll for time outs and losing privileges. Spanking? Heck no! First, we can use that as a fancy word, but the real word for it is hitting. There is no reason to hit your child. If that is what a parent has to do to get respect, I'm very sorry, but something is wrong somewhere. And when your child hits another child, what will you do then? Spank them? "You hit little Johnny and hitting is wrong, so come here and I will hit you." Whatevs. There are ways to raise a child without causing them pain. __________________ Crystal, Ellie May (RIP), Rylee Finnegan, and Gracie Boo🐶

01-12-2011, 08:01 PM	#10
Jinger Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Dallas Posts: 2,213	So many thoughts come to mind. A few important points I always followed (I have one 19-year-old daughter in college and one 17-year old son headed to college next year): I try not to say "no" unless I have to, and then I don't reverse my decision (unless they are older and I've had a reasonable conversation...just like I would with an adult). When I say "no" my kids know it's important, and that I don't just say "no" without thinking about it. I try to treat children with the respect I want them to show me. Love them too much to argue with them...state the rule or decision and then tell them just that. Always preserve the relationship. I try to remember that discipline and punishment are two different things. Discipline is a great thing. Hitting, of any type, is not--in my opinion. Also, I try to let "natural consequences" occur instead of punishment. And Love, Love, Love them, unconditionally and with enthusiasm! __________________ Jen and Zoe

01-12-2011, 07:12 PM	#4
rtsmichele YT Addict Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada Posts: 289	Grounding yes. But physical violence. NO! NO! NO! There's nothing worse that being hit by someone that should go to the ends of the earth to protect you and keep you safe. It's the worst feeling in the world as a child.

01-12-2011, 07:19 PM	#5
lil fu fu girl No Longer a Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Maryland Posts: 2,410	IMO....Discipline is essential. I believe that the many problems facing our youth are do to the lack of parenting. I know.....not a very popular opinion. In the immortal words of Goldie Hawn...once you have a baby...you can't be the baby anymore. Children need discipline, they need mentors, and most of all the need parents who want to be present in their life and share their life experience with them. Parenting is like gardening. If you just throw the seeds out into the yard and pay them no mind until harvest time, you will be lucky to have any crop at all. Planting them, fertilizing them, keeping the weeds and bad bugs away from them, and most of all, caring for them by providing the best environment will produce healthy, successful, and productive plants..... or in the other case.... children.

01-12-2011, 07:47 PM	#8
julietravels Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Chandler, AZ, USA Posts: 300	Oh boy, have you hit a nerve with me. I have 2 terrific adults, one is 30 and the other is 27. The best thing that ever happened was my attending a seminar called the 10 points of discipline when my oldest was in preschool. I thought it would be all about spanking etc. It wasn't, it was about how not to have to discipline your kids. I am so thankful that I listened and learned. The most important point was, once you say no, never change your mind. You can think about it before you commit, but never ever say yes, once you have said no. I have so many times heard kids argue with their parents and on the 5th time, the parent gives in. My kids never argued because they knew there was no point. Every child has something that is important to them, whether it is TV, computer or cell phone. You don't need to hit. If they go against the rules, take the important thing away. If you have to take everything away and leave them nothing but a mattress in their room, do it. Would you rather be the parent of a child that is socially successful or the friend of a drug addict or teenager who is pregnant? Set rules and your kids will follow them if you enforce them the first time, not the third. Set high expectation and they will meet them if you are there to help them succeed. I love my kids dearly and made them the most important thing in my life.

01-12-2011, 08:23 PM	#13
Roccosmommy Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 1,293	NO physical violence whatsoever. Yelling, grounding, losing priveleges - YES. Also, one very major rule I have is that it's never ok to look for a reason or person or situation to blame for one's bad behavior...I tell my kids they are responsbile for their own actions, regardless. I don't usually have to listen to "but she..." or "they made me..." or "because it's not fair...". Nope, take responsibility and the consequences that come with it. TOO many parents these days look for a blame or reason for little Johnny or Suzy acting out in school, and before you know it they are irresponsible adults. Just my opinion. __________________ "The little furry buggers are just deep, deep wells you throw all your emotions into." ~ Bruce Schimmel

01-12-2011, 08:29 PM	#14
Cha Cha Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Where the deer and the antelope play Posts: 7,069	Parenting with Love and Logic by Jim Faye. Awesome parenting class/seminar/books. His logic is simple skills based on common sense parenting and keeping control without losing your cool. Really, I think any parenting class would give a parent a solid foundation. Some people think taking a parenting class is a sign of weakness or unnecessary, but it will be the best love you ever give your children. The only other thing is that teenagers are just smarter two year olds. So, if you can out smart your two year old, you will love your teenagers!!! I never spanked or grounded. Not saying I don't believe in those methods, just saying I was never driven to use them. Every year my kids grew a year older, I enjoyed them that much more. I love being a parent. __________________ Shelly and the girls Moka Mylee

01-13-2011, 12:38 PM	#15
Sammy Mommy Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: New York Posts: 3,896	Hitting-NO!! taking away priviledges, grounding YES!! I just had an incident with my son who is almost 19. He lost the priviledge of having his friends over until further notice. If his friends can't show respect in my house then they are not welcome here. He wasn't too happy about it but he has to learn there are consequences for our actions. Kids need discipline, guidance and boundaries. And love!!