Hubby got a job offer!!!

[Tillys_mom]

Yay!!! But I feel terrible! All I've done all school year is tell him I refuse to move more than an hour away from home. He has had a few interviews here close to come but none of them are going to offer anywhere near what this company just offered my husband. We would honestly live within our means if he made that much starting out, the benefits are top knotch, it's a great package. I feel like I'm dragging our family in the mud and holding us back. I've never ever pictured myself living anywhere but right here. I asked hubby if he wished I wasn't so stubborn and he said noooo. I told him to be honest. He then said maybe. All I keep thinking is money wont buy you happiness so I should push for staying around here, but my uncle gave up his dream to make my aunt happy and they look miserable. He hates his job, (she loves hers) and he acts like he wants something so much more. She refused to move about the same distance we would be a little over 3 hours. Ugh! I need your advice. I need an unbiased opinion. Hubbys family is gonna push for us to go, mine is gonna push for us to stay. What would you do?

[Patti]

That's a tough one. Could you move an hour away from his job offer so it would only be 2 hours from where you live now so you could still see your family a lot. If it is a good offer and maybe you could give it a try. Nothing is forever. good luck.

[patty58]

That is a tough one but I believe he should be happy in what he does. If that means a move, so be it. I would hate for him to be miserable in his job. Good luck

[LouisLove]

I think you don't truly know if you would be that miserable moving... Your family is HIM and YOU and of course the babys. You must look at it this way so that you two can prosper. He is doing his job by trying to provide hun. Let him. JMO

[Jody Renfroe]

My Dad's job required that he move around a lot. I went to I don't know how many elementary schools, and 3 highschools. My brother's had it even worse because I left home at 18 and the family was still having to move around..We aren't talking 3 hours from other family either - we're talking several hours away. My Mom never complained and neither did us kids. We all knew that Daddy's job was important, and he was such a good man, we trusted his judgement completely.

I say all of the above, just to say that I feel that the good experiences (making new friends, seeing new places), greatly outweighed the bad. If you are happy with your partner, home is where-ever you currently are living.

Hugs to you with your decision.

[mizzwanned]

I wish you good luck! That one's a hard one. My bf wants to be a chef and wants to go to Italy, Spain, etc. to learn about the diff. cultures and he wants me to go with him. I would go with him cause it's his dream but only if we can take the dogs and if i can somehow still do what i want to do, as in work. Follow your heart and what you think is right for the family.

[Betty'sMom]

Sometimes it's best to take advantage of an opportunity. You may love it or hate it, but you will never know if you don't give it a chance. Are you currently working? Do you have children in school that you do not want to uproot? If not, it seems like it would be the perfect time to support your husband and consider the move. Good luck.

[Shelby&Seymour]

Three hours ain't so bad!!....... you can easily visit on a Saturday!!!!.......plus you don't know what exciting new things (in addition to your DH's job) would be in store for you UNLESS you go for it!

[Tillys_mom]

Originally Posted by Betty'sMom

Sometimes it's best to take advantage of an opportunity. You may love it or hate it, but you will never know if you don't give it a chance. Are you currently working? Do you have children in school that you do not want to uproot? If not, it seems like it would be the perfect time to support your husband and consider the move. Good luck.

I own my own dog grooming business but I've stopped taking customers and just do it for my established customers, family, and friends. We have a 14 month old so no kids in school. I do want to make sure there is a good school nearby and a good vet. My husband said the public schools there are ranked best in the state (O'Fallon, IL). Not so sure about that. Anyone familiar with this area?

[Rae Rae]

I'm from IL but have never heard of that place, but I'm from northern IL so I'm assuming its at least south of Chicago.

Would it be possible to move, and if things don't work out, move back? I know it'd be hard, but another thing is at least it's 3 hours and not further, so you could still go see your family on the weekends/holidays, you wouldn't have to constantly be flying (as long as you don't mind car rides). I kinda can relate because my fiance's job was going to relocate across the country almost! I cried when he told me, I couldn't leave my friends and family, that was all that was holding me back. Fortunatly though, his job isn't relocating (at least for now, knock on wood)

But then again, like others posted, you'll never know what it's like unless you do it. And if the job opportunity is really good, and can open a lot of doors for him, maybe take the chance and see. Sometimes when people pass up opportunities they wonder about it nonstop in the future.."what if I did this" etc. So I would say go for it! (I know, easier said than done though)

[Tillys_mom]

Originally Posted by Rae Rae

I'm from IL but have never heard of that place, but I'm from northern IL so I'm assuming its at least south of Chicago.

Would it be possible to move, and if things don't work out, move back? I know it'd be hard, but another thing is at least it's 3 hours and not further, so you could still go see your family on the weekends/holidays, you wouldn't have to constantly be flying (as long as you don't mind car rides). I kinda can relate because my fiance's job was going to relocate across the country almost! I cried when he told me, I couldn't leave my friends and family, that was all that was holding me back. Fortunatly though, his job isn't relocating (at least for now, knock on wood)

But then again, like others posted, you'll never know what it's like unless you do it. And if the job opportunity is really good, and can open a lot of doors for him, maybe take the chance and see. Sometimes when people pass up opportunities they wonder about it nonstop in the future.."what if I did this" etc. So I would say go for it! (I know, easier said than done though)

The area is east of St. Louis. I asked him would it be something that we may later regret and he said yes. I also asked him if the other companies may offer him this and he said no. Also, there is a really nice moving allowance. It's something we are going to have to talk about more. Gosh, it's tough.

[altigger74]

I moved 16 hours away from my family for my hubby. I miss my family like crazy but after 15 years together he is still the love of my life and I would go anywhere he went. Money doesn't buy happiness but it helps relieve some stresses so that you can concentrate on the happiness. You never know you may love where you go. In my honest opinion, give it a try if it doesn't work then you know but your hubby will also know that you gave it a try for him and your future.

Originally Posted by Tillys_mom

Yay!!! But I feel terrible! All I've done all school year is tell him I refuse to move more than an hour away from home. He has had a few interviews here close to come but none of them are going to offer anywhere near what this company just offered my husband. We would honestly live within our means if he made that much starting out, the benefits are top knotch, it's a great package. I feel like I'm dragging our family in the mud and holding us back. I've never ever pictured myself living anywhere but right here. I asked hubby if he wished I wasn't so stubborn and he said noooo. I told him to be honest. He then said maybe. All I keep thinking is money wont buy you happiness so I should push for staying around here, but my uncle gave up his dream to make my aunt happy and they look miserable. He hates his job, (she loves hers) and he acts like he wants something so much more. She refused to move about the same distance we would be a little over 3 hours. Ugh! I need your advice. I need an unbiased opinion. Hubbys family is gonna push for us to go, mine is gonna push for us to stay. What would you do?

[LittleMansMomma]

Originally Posted by Tillys_mom

Yay!!! But I feel terrible! All I've done all school year is tell him I refuse to move more than an hour away from home. He has had a few interviews here close to come but none of them are going to offer anywhere near what this company just offered my husband. We would honestly live within our means if he made that much starting out, the benefits are top knotch, it's a great package. I feel like I'm dragging our family in the mud and holding us back. I've never ever pictured myself living anywhere but right here. I asked hubby if he wished I wasn't so stubborn and he said noooo. I told him to be honest. He then said maybe. All I keep thinking is money wont buy you happiness so I should push for staying around here, but my uncle gave up his dream to make my aunt happy and they look miserable. He hates his job, (she loves hers) and he acts like he wants something so much more. She refused to move about the same distance we would be a little over 3 hours. Ugh! I need your advice. I need an unbiased opinion. Hubbys family is gonna push for us to go, mine is gonna push for us to stay. What would you do?

This is my experience and opinion....

The place that my hubby worked for in 2003 was closing its doors and moving everything back to their home base offices in Iowa. They offered hubby a job there. The package was great. They included moving expenses, and better health benefits.

Anyways, his family was pushing for us to go and mine wasn't. It was 10 hours away from our families. I really didn't want to go, but I knew I wasn't be fair to my hubby if I didn't let him try it. So we decided to try it and see how it worked out. We moved to Iowa for a year and then moved back home. My MIL got sick, hubby didn't want to be that far away from his family in case something happened to his mom and we couldn't be there in time. But during that year away from our family, we learned how to communicate with each other all over again. And because we didn't have any family around us to come in between us and they couldn't stick their nose in our business, we fell in love all over again.

I think if we didn't have that break from our families who knows where we'd be today. I just thank God that he gave us this opportunity to reconnect with each other.

So, maybe this might be your opportunity to reconnect with your hubby. If the move don't work out you can always move back.

[yellowmellie]

I would say go for it, but I do live completely across the globe from my entire family. It was really hard to leave my family and first move to Italy. But it was only a 9 hour flight and I was home, no big deal. Now its 28 hours of flying, 1500 dollars a ticket, just to see my family. Yes, I miss them horribly, but I wouldn't trade the the experience I have here for anything.

Really 3 hours isn't so bad. I would die to be three hours away from my family and friends. I say go for it!! But one thing that took me a long time to learn, "don't spend all your time missing what you don't have or you will miss everything going on around you."

Good luck in your decision.


P.S. I'm actually going through the same thing right now. My husband has a job opportunity in Germany but I am not ready to leave Okinawa, Japan just yet. I am so torn because I don't want to hold him back, i'm just not ready to leave paradise island just yet.

[alisonJ]

Moving can be EXCITING!! Give it a shot, I say. You can always move back. On the other hand, it could open up new horizons for you and you will wonder why you were ever reluctant to do it.

I have lived in New England, in the South, and in the West, and i wouldn't trade my experiences in these places for anything.