Family...do i really have to go home for Christmas? - YorkieTalk.com Forums

purpledaffodil · 12-12-2007, 04:08 PM

So let me tell a little backstory. I'm a pretty private person and growing up I spent a lot of time in my room. When I got married (3 yrs ago)my mom quickly gave my room to my younger sister and I was rather upset. I mean my younger sister had her own room (that she actually picked and I just took the one she didn't want), and they only waited like 2 months after I got married. I was a little upset by this (probably just stress from moving across the country and being newly married) so my mother decorated the now guest room in my favorite colors and put a nice king bed in there and said we'd always have it when we visited.

Fast forward to now. My older sister moved to AZ a few years ago for a job, then last year decided she was lonely and moved home, back into my parents house. She had a house and just left it and didn't have a job. So she has been living jobless (well doing some sub work)in my parents house (while paying her mortgage on her AZ house). She eats there and sleeps there and my parents pay for her GS and cats food. Shes 28....seriously.

So she called me and said she wasn't giving up her bed (the king in the guest bedroom, so we have to sleep in the living room on the futon. I then told her that my hubby likes to sleep naked...so just be careful about it. Well now we are moved to my baby sisters room and she is a pack rat. So I called and said my hubby is really really allergic to dust and can they clean it....you know what my older sister says "Beggars can't be choosers!"

Ugh i am so fed up..I'm ready to go home. My sister is being a mooch, but cant allow us to have the king sized bed for one week over the holidays! So instead we are moved to a room with a twin and an inflatable bed....ugh!

Shelby&Seymour · 12-12-2007, 04:21 PM

Stay in a hotel while you visit. It works for me!! I love being able to go to the hotel in the evenings and unwind!

Gracie2006 · 12-12-2007, 04:35 PM

I will second that, stay in a hotel. Everyone will appreciate the freedom that comes with that!

zoeybear · 12-12-2007, 04:42 PM

I agree Hotel is the way to go. My family used to all go on trips to the beach together. We stayed in a 2 bedroom house. For some reason, my Brother and his Wife always took the biggest room, my parents in the other, and I was stuck on the couch. I don't mind taking my turn on the couch bed, but EVERY time? I didnt say anything, but I stopped going on the trips because I felt they were rude to assume their comfort came before everyone elses. Now I wish I had confronted them about it. I think people do cr@p like that because they never get called on it.

grayxie · 12-12-2007, 05:15 PM

I agree, if its feasible for you to stay in a nearby hotel then do it. You can leave and arrive when you want and not deal with the mess.

Buddy-licious · 12-12-2007, 05:22 PM

HOTEL!!!!!!!!!!! This is what my dh and I did for years!!!! Only recently do my DH and I stay with my mom....only because she has this gorgeous new house on the side of a mountain. She has two guest rooms just for me, dh and son.
I would definitely stay in a hotel. Family can be soooo stressful.

Bizzymammabee · 12-12-2007, 05:25 PM

I would stay in a hotel. It's a bit funny if you want to be intimate with hubby while there.

I do totally agree that your sister is being a mooch and a PIA and inconsiderate for telling you to sleep on the sofa bed or in the twin bed with hubby.

Families can be special at times. Good luck hon.

Tink's Mom · 12-12-2007, 06:02 PM

Well, that doesn't sound like sisterly love to me. She's your older sister? She should be setting a good example by showing kindness since your parents have shown kindness to her. I do believe she is the baby sister in attitude!

If you can afford it, a hotel sounds like the easiest solution. If not, you will have to decide how much peace you are willing to display with your family. It may hurt you in the short term, but if you can find a way to overlook your sister's rudeness and your parents inability to stand up for your "visitor's rights" to good manners, then stay at your parent's in the too small room. But for your own peace of mind and future relationship with them, you need to discuss the guest sleeping situation with your parents and sister. Your parents are the owners of the house. This should be their decision, not your sister's. If they don't offer you the other room, that's their decision and you have to decide if you can live with it or not. Good luck! I hope it works out well for all of you.

purpledaffodil · 12-12-2007, 06:20 PM

I wish i could stay in a hotel, sadly i am supporting my hubby in school right now and we barely make enough to go home for the holidays and gifts. plus when i told my mom about this she said her and my father would be deeply offended if we stayed at a hotel and the closest one is 30-40 minutes away

red98vett · 12-13-2007, 05:39 AM

I think if I were in your shoes - I'd just make the best of it - there's so many out there with no one -

you have family at least and that's the whole idea of Christmas !

I hope it's a good one and good luck

grayxie · 12-13-2007, 05:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by purpledaffodil

I wish i could stay in a hotel, sadly i am supporting my hubby in school right now and we barely make enough to go home for the holidays and gifts. plus when i told my mom about this she said her and my father would be deeply offended if we stayed at a hotel and the closest one is 30-40 minutes away

If you parents were so offended, ask them to kick your older sister out of her room for a week.

LunasMomma · 12-13-2007, 06:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by grayxie

If you parents were so offended, ask them to kick your older sister out of her room for a week.

Just what I was going to say! Your mom should scold her and put HER on the futon

ellie81 · 12-13-2007, 07:34 AM

I agree with V. Parents and family can sometimes be a pain, but when you don't have them, you will so miss that pain

I would talk to your mom about your sister's attitude. You guys are the guests, they should give you the bed. But if it doesn't work work, it's true, make the best of it

Ida · 12-13-2007, 07:44 AM

Hotel is not a bad idea - but don't ruin your holiday because your sisters an ass. I'm sure your mom wants you there - Go - enjoy - but have a room at a nearby hotel you can go to.

Sorry - I didn't read all the posts - didn't realize you could not afford a room and your parents were insulted about you not staying there - I'd go - let your sister know just how you feel -

HallTx1203 · 12-13-2007, 07:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by red98vett

I think if I were in your shoes - I'd just make the best of it - there's so many out there with no one -

you have family at least and that's the whole idea of Christmas !

I hope it's a good one and good luck

I agree here.....Please make the best of it....

I have not seen(visited w/) my father and step mother in almost 4 years....You really do not want to be on your own if you have a choice....Take that back...I saw them at my dd high school grad...But no one talked...

Small price to pay to see family....

12-12-2007, 04:08 PM	#1
purpledaffodil Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: co Posts: 230	Family...do i really have to go home for Christmas? So let me tell a little backstory. I'm a pretty private person and growing up I spent a lot of time in my room. When I got married (3 yrs ago)my mom quickly gave my room to my younger sister and I was rather upset. I mean my younger sister had her own room (that she actually picked and I just took the one she didn't want), and they only waited like 2 months after I got married. I was a little upset by this (probably just stress from moving across the country and being newly married) so my mother decorated the now guest room in my favorite colors and put a nice king bed in there and said we'd always have it when we visited. Fast forward to now. My older sister moved to AZ a few years ago for a job, then last year decided she was lonely and moved home, back into my parents house. She had a house and just left it and didn't have a job. So she has been living jobless (well doing some sub work)in my parents house (while paying her mortgage on her AZ house). She eats there and sleeps there and my parents pay for her GS and cats food. Shes 28....seriously. So she called me and said she wasn't giving up her bed (the king in the guest bedroom, so we have to sleep in the living room on the futon. I then told her that my hubby likes to sleep naked...so just be careful about it. Well now we are moved to my baby sisters room and she is a pack rat. So I called and said my hubby is really really allergic to dust and can they clean it....you know what my older sister says "Beggars can't be choosers!" Ugh i am so fed up..I'm ready to go home. My sister is being a mooch, but cant allow us to have the king sized bed for one week over the holidays! So instead we are moved to a room with a twin and an inflatable bed....ugh! __________________ Xander Addie Willow and Rogue

12-12-2007, 04:21 PM	#2
Shelby&Seymour "& Seeger, too" Donating Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Central Kentucky Posts: 5,169	Stay in a hotel while you visit. It works for me!! I love being able to go to the hotel in the evenings and unwind! __________________ Happy Fall Y'all! 🎃

12-12-2007, 04:35 PM	#3
Gracie2006 Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Sequim, Wa Posts: 4,541	I will second that, stay in a hotel. Everyone will appreciate the freedom that comes with that! __________________ Gracie loves Bailey. Holly loves Tucker. Proud member of the YT Gracie Girls.

12-12-2007, 04:42 PM	#4
zoeybear Misssing Baby Chloe Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: California Posts: 4,186	I agree Hotel is the way to go. My family used to all go on trips to the beach together. We stayed in a 2 bedroom house. For some reason, my Brother and his Wife always took the biggest room, my parents in the other, and I was stuck on the couch. I don't mind taking my turn on the couch bed, but EVERY time? I didnt say anything, but I stopped going on the trips because I felt they were rude to assume their comfort came before everyone elses. Now I wish I had confronted them about it. I think people do cr@p like that because they never get called on it. __________________ We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made. -M. Acklam

12-12-2007, 05:15 PM	#5
grayxie Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Dresher, PA Posts: 2,779	I agree, if its feasible for you to stay in a nearby hotel then do it. You can leave and arrive when you want and not deal with the mess. __________________ Teapots = Happiness GraycieChipHarley Fakes Are Never In Fashion

12-12-2007, 05:22 PM	#6
Buddy-licious Donating YT Addict Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Charlotte,nc Posts: 1,976	HOTEL!!!!!!!!!!! This is what my dh and I did for years!!!! Only recently do my DH and I stay with my mom....only because she has this gorgeous new house on the side of a mountain. She has two guest rooms just for me, dh and son. I would definitely stay in a hotel. Family can be soooo stressful. __________________ Rhonda, Buddy-licious and Sammie

12-12-2007, 05:25 PM	#7
Bizzymammabee Luvs Lulu Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Queens, NY Posts: 6,931 Blog Entries: 1	I would stay in a hotel. It's a bit funny if you want to be intimate with hubby while there. I do totally agree that your sister is being a mooch and a PIA and inconsiderate for telling you to sleep on the sofa bed or in the twin bed with hubby. Families can be special at times. Good luck hon. __________________ Lulu will always be in my heart

12-12-2007, 06:02 PM	#8
Tink's Mom With Indy In My Heart Donating Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Texas Posts: 8,442	Well, that doesn't sound like sisterly love to me. She's your older sister? She should be setting a good example by showing kindness since your parents have shown kindness to her. I do believe she is the baby sister in attitude! If you can afford it, a hotel sounds like the easiest solution. If not, you will have to decide how much peace you are willing to display with your family. It may hurt you in the short term, but if you can find a way to overlook your sister's rudeness and your parents inability to stand up for your "visitor's rights" to good manners, then stay at your parent's in the too small room. But for your own peace of mind and future relationship with them, you need to discuss the guest sleeping situation with your parents and sister. Your parents are the owners of the house. This should be their decision, not your sister's. If they don't offer you the other room, that's their decision and you have to decide if you can live with it or not. Good luck! I hope it works out well for all of you. __________________ Mom of Bruno RIP Tinkerbelle Tala & Howard Indy & Stuart

12-12-2007, 06:20 PM	#9
purpledaffodil Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: co Posts: 230	I wish i could stay in a hotel, sadly i am supporting my hubby in school right now and we barely make enough to go home for the holidays and gifts. plus when i told my mom about this she said her and my father would be deeply offended if we stayed at a hotel and the closest one is 30-40 minutes away __________________ Xander Addie Willow and Rogue

12-13-2007, 05:39 AM	#10
red98vett Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Houston TX Posts: 33,590 Blog Entries: 1	I think if I were in your shoes - I'd just make the best of it - there's so many out there with no one - you have family at least and that's the whole idea of Christmas ! I hope it's a good one and good luck __________________ Villette, Chanel & Cheri www.DesignsByVillette.net Custom Address Labels and Note Cards using YOUR Photos! Just Click HERE!

12-13-2007, 07:34 AM	#13
ellie81 Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: South Florida Posts: 5,314 Blog Entries: 1	I agree with V. Parents and family can sometimes be a pain, but when you don't have them, you will so miss that pain I would talk to your mom about your sister's attitude. You guys are the guests, they should give you the bed. But if it doesn't work work, it's true, make the best of it __________________ Ellie and Bengi Bengi Is Home!!! - http://youtu.be/8OKv35pk5Pk

12-13-2007, 07:44 AM	#14
Ida YT Addict Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: New York Posts: 280	Hotel is not a bad idea - but don't ruin your holiday because your sisters an ass. I'm sure your mom wants you there - Go - enjoy - but have a room at a nearby hotel you can go to. Sorry - I didn't read all the posts - didn't realize you could not afford a room and your parents were insulted about you not staying there - I'd go - let your sister know just how you feel - Last edited by Ida; 12-13-2007 at 07:46 AM.