**You Just Gotta Love It** - YorkieTalk.com Forums

crystalsmom · 11-15-2007, 06:15 AM

Dear Sir:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored
to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it.

I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire
pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has
caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood
person. My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter
no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed
personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must
nominate.

Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other
person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative.

Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be
countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her
financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be
accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN
number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it
cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the
number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on
your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form
of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press
buttons as follows:

IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALING, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH

# 1. To make an appointment to see me
# 2. To query a missing payment.
# 3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
# 4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping
# 5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to
nature.
# 6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home
# 7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my
computer is required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.
# 8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.
# 9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be
put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.
# 10. This is a second reminder to press* for English. While this may,
on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the
duration of the call regrettably, but again following your example, I
must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new
arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous,
New Year?

Your Humble Client

FL Tink · 11-15-2007, 06:22 AM

That is really funny! wouldn't they freak if people really started doing that?
Long gone are the days when they actually felt like they had to be nice or take care of us to get our business!!

pepe mint · 11-15-2007, 06:27 AM

I swear one of my past tenants must have wrote that letter!!!!

LOL

that is just too funny!!!!

patty58 · 11-15-2007, 11:11 AM

Since I just got off the phone with one of my accounts....I can so relate.

saphire · 11-15-2007, 12:12 PM

That is so funny! It's the same here in S.A. I would love to present my bank with that letter.

Morkie4 · 11-15-2007, 12:13 PM

Too cute ................. I hate it when you have to listen to messages that are not even close to what you called for but you have to listen to them to get to the next choices. Bugs the crud out of me!

Josie's Mom · 11-15-2007, 12:24 PM

That was so cleaver-- Love it!

heatherjean8737 · 11-15-2007, 12:25 PM

that is too funny....i just keep pressing 0 hoping that i get someone that i can speak with.

Nikki+2 · 11-15-2007, 12:56 PM

Too funny!

Yorkiekids · 11-15-2007, 02:02 PM

I'm with you all the way on this one. The same with creditors who feel the need to call you everyday to tell you your payment is late. Duh! I'm quite aware of that fact.

Buddy-licious · 11-16-2007, 04:09 AM

That was really funny!!!

Superstarkba · 11-16-2007, 04:10 AM

That was funny.

mizzwanned · 11-16-2007, 05:15 AM

That was so funny!

adorame · 11-16-2007, 05:24 AM

That was so funny! You hit the nail on the head with the run a round game that they play with all those numbers they want you to press. I always mess up on purpose to get a live person, then they think they are dealing with a dummy and I put them in their place

11-15-2007, 06:15 AM	#1
crystalsmom Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Ohio Posts: 7,946	You Just Gotta Love It Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become. From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate. Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof. In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons as follows: IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALING, PRESS THE STAR () BUTTON FOR ENGLISH # 1. To make an appointment to see me # 2. To query a missing payment. # 3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there. # 4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping # 5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature. # 6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home # 7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier. # 8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7. # 9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. # 10. This is a second reminder to press for English. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement. May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous, New Year? Your Humble Client __________________

11-15-2007, 06:27 AM	#3
pepe mint YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Franklin, TN Posts: 11,145	I swear one of my past tenants must have wrote that letter!!!! LOL that is just too funny!!!! __________________ Anyone who does not know what soap tastes like has never washed a dog

11-15-2007, 12:12 PM	#5
saphire Lil' CoCo, Lotta Coffee. Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: South Africa Posts: 3,115	That is so funny! It's the same here in S.A. I would love to present my bank with that letter. __________________ Sheilagh CoffeeAbigail-Ceana. CoCoMurfee & Winston

11-15-2007, 12:13 PM	#6
Morkie4 Donating YT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Florida Posts: 4,549	Too cute ................. I hate it when you have to listen to messages that are not even close to what you called for but you have to listen to them to get to the next choices. Bugs the crud out of me! __________________ CAROL ~ Krissie ~ Toby ~ Brandy ~ Buffy Proud member of Maltesetalk and Yorkietalk

11-15-2007, 12:24 PM	#7
Josie's Mom Jojo's & Junior's too! Donating YT Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Watsonville, CA Posts: 1,379	That was so cleaver-- Love it! __________________ Josie, Jojo, Junior & Veronica ...No Home is Complete Without a Yorkie...or Two...better make that 3!..

11-15-2007, 06:22 AM	#2
FL Tink No Longer a Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Riverview, Florida Posts: 4,953	That is really funny! wouldn't they freak if people really started doing that? Long gone are the days when they actually felt like they had to be nice or take care of us to get our business!!

11-15-2007, 11:11 AM	#4
patty58 Donating YT 5000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: texas Posts: 5,272	Since I just got off the phone with one of my accounts....I can so relate.

11-15-2007, 12:25 PM	#8
heatherjean8737 My little furbutts Donating Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Baytown, TX Posts: 1,692	that is too funny....i just keep pressing 0 hoping that i get someone that i can speak with. __________________ Heather, Benji & Bella

11-15-2007, 12:56 PM	#9
Nikki+2 I heart Sugar Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Florida Posts: 7,373	Too funny! __________________ "If you have men who will exclude any of God’s creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men." — St. Francis of Assisi, 1181-1226

11-15-2007, 02:02 PM	#10
Yorkiekids Piper & Sebastian Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: florida Posts: 14,495	I'm with you all the way on this one. The same with creditors who feel the need to call you everyday to tell you your payment is late. Duh! I'm quite aware of that fact. __________________ Susan, Piper ,Harley & Suiki

11-16-2007, 04:09 AM	#11
Buddy-licious Donating YT Addict Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Charlotte,nc Posts: 1,976	That was really funny!!! __________________ Rhonda, Buddy-licious and Sammie

11-16-2007, 04:10 AM	#12
Superstarkba Aubrey's Mom Donating Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Georgia Posts: 9,369	That was funny.

11-16-2007, 05:15 AM	#13
mizzwanned Donating YT 11K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: new york Posts: 14,007 Blog Entries: 2	That was so funny! __________________ Primrose, Teddy..RIP, Livie..RIP, And can never forget my duo Sophie and London, Run in Peace <3

11-16-2007, 05:24 AM	#14
adorame YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ohio Posts: 2,312 Blog Entries: 1	That was so funny! You hit the nail on the head with the run a round game that they play with all those numbers they want you to press. I always mess up on purpose to get a live person, then they think they are dealing with a dummy and I put them in their place __________________ Brandy and her love bugs Jeter Axl Yumi Yasha