Just wondering if anyone else has been in my shoes.....

[Mybabyboymax]

Originally Posted by Cocoa's Momma

Yes, I do realize that but, I get defensive and hurt when people try to discourage a relationship they know nothing about. Ya know? I just asked if anyone else had a similar situation and if so how did they compromise.

I understand how you feel, I too was exactly like that (and sometimes still am) I get offended very quickly but I have come to realize that most of the YT members are really great people and do not say things to get people upset intentionally. See I didnt answer the post right away because you asked if anyone had been in your shoes and what did they do, and I have never been in the situation you are in now. I will say that I dont think you boyfriend is a horrible person at all! some people are just not animal lovers, are they wrong bad people? ofcourse not! you do however need to find a solution to the problem. Its better to address the issue now rather than later. Good luck Im sure it will all work out!

[Cocoa's Momma]

Originally Posted by Mybabyboymax

I understand how you feel, I too was exactly like that (and sometimes still am) I get offended very quickly but I have come to realize that most of the YT members are really great people and do not say things to get people upset intentionally. See I didnt answer the post right away because you asked if anyone had been in your shoes and what did they do, and I have never been in the situation you are in now. I will say that I dont think you boyfriend is a horrible person at all! some people are just not animal lovers, are they wrong bad people? ofcourse not! you do however need to find a solution to the problem. Its better to address the issue now rather than later. Good luck Im sure it will all work out!

Thank you so much! That is why I was asking for advice. We aren't getting married for atleast two more years so, I have lots of time to convince him I know he won't make me get rid of my dogs but, was just wondering what I can do so he doesn't think I don't respect his wishes.

[LoveMyJake]

This is just my own opinion, but I LOVE my dogs and would never give them up!! My husband loves dogs and all animals, but he really didn't want me to get a yorkie. He likes bigger dogs, like labs. But, he knew how much it meant to me to have a yorkie (or two hehe), so he compromised and agreed to get Jake. After about 2.3 seconds, he was in love with Jake! When I wanted a second one, he said no he thought one was enough. But, again, he knows how much it meant to me. I waited years...until my kids were grown to get my first yorkie. He said if it made me happy, then fine. So, now we have the two boys, and he's just as in love with them as I am. I think it's important to have compromise in a relationship. I'm always willing to compromise for my hubby too. There is alot of give and take in a relationship. I know my hubby would never ask me to give up my dogs. He knows they are my passion. But, I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide. At least you will still be able to see them if your mom keeps them. I just wouldn't be able to do it.

[Cocoa's Momma]

Originally Posted by LoveMyJake

This is just my own opinion, but I LOVE my dogs and would never give them up!! My husband loves dogs and all animals, but he really didn't want me to get a yorkie. He likes bigger dogs, like labs. But, he knew how much it meant to me to have a yorkie (or two hehe), so he compromised and agreed to get Jake. After about 2.3 seconds, he was in love with Jake! When I wanted a second one, he said no he thought one was enough. But, again, he knows how much it meant to me. I waited years...until my kids were grown to get my first yorkie. He said if it made me happy, then fine. So, now we have the two boys, and he's just as in love with them as I am. I think it's important to have compromise in a relationship. I'm always willing to compromise for my hubby too. There is alot of give and take in a relationship. I know my hubby would never ask me to give up my dogs. He knows they are my passion. But, I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide. At least you will still be able to see them if your mom keeps them. I just wouldn't be able to do it.

Thanks for your opinion.

[MyFairLacy]

Originally Posted by Cocoa's Momma

Don't attack me and imply I don't take care of my dogs or don't love them. I never said I will give them away for sure, just trying to figure out how to compromise on the issue. If he doesn't want dogs I should respect his wishes just how you are saying he should respect my thoughts about the dogs and deal with it. Someone has to deal with it, either him or me so whose to say it has to be me. He didn't say I have to chose between him or my dogs just said he would rather not live with dogs. I'm sorry I even asked for advice now.

Don't regret asking for advise. It's just that when you are on a forum where most of us love our dogs like they were our children, you're probably not going to get many responses like you're hoping to hear. Hopefully he'll learn to love your dogs too and will realize having dogs in the house in not a bad thing. Also, please please don't get an "outside" dog. I think it's aweful for a dog to have to live outside, away from its family. Dogs are pack animals and want to be where their "pack" (family) is. Unless you spend hours and hours outside with the dog, it's not going to get the life it deserves. I don't believe in outside animals

[Cocoa's Momma]

Originally Posted by MyFairLacy

Don't regret asking for advise. It's just that when you are on a forum where most of us love our dogs like they were our children, you're probably not going to get many responses like you're hoping to hear. Hopefully he'll learn to love your dogs too and will realize having dogs in the house in not a bad thing. Also, please please don't get an "outside" dog. I think it's aweful for a dog to have to live outside, away from its family. Dogs are pack animals and want to be where their "pack" (family) is. Unless you spend hours and hours outside with the dog, it's not going to get the life it deserves. I don't believe in outside animals

I didn't ask for anyone's opinions other than if they have been in my situation and most of the one's that replied have not. However, thank you for sharing.

[MyFairLacy]

Originally Posted by Cocoa's Momma

I didn't ask for anyone's opinions other than if they have been in my situation and most of the one's that replied have not. However, thank you for sharing.

Like I said, I wouldn't put myself in that situation because I'd never even date someone that doesn't love animals. I just couldn't live without them

[Cocoa's Momma]

Originally Posted by MyFairLacy

Like I said, I wouldn't put myself in that situation because I'd never even date someone that doesn't love animals. I just couldn't live without them

Yes, I realize that. I was dating Kevin before I got my dogs and had never had dogs before them.

[chattiesmom]

Be thankful that Kevin was honest and up front with you about the dogs. You can think about it and make a decision about what is most important to you. It isn't fair to ask him to live with the dogs if he has allergies and they make him sick. Perhaps he could try allergy treatments and see if that would help both his health and his feelings about the furbabies.

Sometimes life just sucks.....you can't always have everything you want and need....Good luck!

[YorkieRose]

I do not see where you have a problem...he is being honest. If you want to have a permenent relationship, it will be without dogs..if you want dogs in your home, then this relationship will not work...it is one thing to not want dogs around, but another to be allergic.
I am allergic to cats...5 minutes in a house with a cat and my head is stuffed up...so if my husband had been a cat lover we would not be married. When we married he had never had house dogs, only farm dogs..but he loved me and said the dogs came with the deal..BUT he was not allergic...

[Keno]

Originally Posted by Cocoa's Momma

I didn't ask for anyone's opinions other than if they have been in my situation and most of the one's that replied have not. However, thank you for sharing.

oh you just wanted people to answer "yes" or "no" then ...

okay, Yes!

[YorkieShadow]

Originally Posted by Cocoa's Momma

Thanks guys for all of your help and advice! I know everyone is going to think I'm a horrible person for saying this but, my dogs are very important to me and they are extremely well taken care of and spoiled but, they are not my life. I know Kevin will come around but, I shouldn't force him to live with dogs if he doesn't want to. I still have a year and a half left of undergrad and 3 years of law school and I'm not getting married til I'm either done with school or close to it so, I've got awhile until then.

Your the one that said they are not your life, All Im trying to say is once your married in a year or two its going to be that much harder on those dogs if you do decide your not going to keep them because your BF dont like dogs.

Quote:
Originally Posted by YorkieShadow
I agree.
I couldnt be with someone who doesnt like dogs but that is me. Maybe your not 100% dog person then, I mean if you can give them up and get married and not have any dogs in your life ever again. and that not bother you. I could not live with out my dogs. Thats how much I love them. It takes two to make a marriage and two to agree on a lot of things. If you both cant agree on Dogs and your willing to give them up for him , then they are prob better off being rehomed.

Don't attack me and imply I don't take care of my dogs or don't love them. I never said I will give them away for sure, just trying to figure out how to compromise on the issue. If he doesn't want dogs I should respect his wishes just how you are saying he should respect my thoughts about the dogs and deal with it. Someone has to deal with it, either him or me so whose to say it has to be me. He didn't say I have to chose between him or my dogs just said he would rather not live with dogs. I'm sorry I even asked for advice now.

Who's attacking? just because I gave my opinion does not mean Im attacking. what do you want us to lie and say yes do what your BF wants Thats the best way. Like I said before I would not have a man who does not love animals as I do. If you do then thats your choice. sorry your not going to hear every thing that you want to hear. But you knew that before you posted thats why you said dont put my BF down or what ever it was you said.

[Cocoa's Momma]

Originally Posted by chattiesmom

Be thankful that Kevin was honest and up front with you about the dogs. You can think about it and make a decision about what is most important to you. It isn't fair to ask him to live with the dogs if he has allergies and they make him sick. Perhaps he could try allergy treatments and see if that would help both his health and his feelings about the furbabies.

Sometimes life just sucks.....you can't always have everything you want and need....Good luck!

Thanks for your advice, I really appreciate it. We are supposed to talk about it tomorrow. He won't force me to do anything we just have to come to a mutual decision. He isn't severely allergic the main thing is he just isn't a dog person. You're right sometimes life does suck and we have to make compromises.

[Cocoa's Momma]

Originally Posted by Keno

oh you just wanted people to answer "yes" or "no" then ...

okay, Yes!

No, I wanted advice from people who have actually been in my shoes and had to come to a mutual decision about their dogs. A lot of people that have posted just wanted to share their opinion on "if I had a bf that didn't like my dogs" and such. I didn't want to know what would you do but, what have you done. Ya know what I'm trying to say?

[Cocoa's Momma]

Originally Posted by YorkieShadow

Your the one that said they are not your life, All Im trying to say is once your married in a year or two its going to be that much harder on those dogs if you do decide your not going to keep them because your BF dont like dogs.

Quote:
Originally Posted by YorkieShadow
I agree.
I couldnt be with someone who doesnt like dogs but that is me. Maybe your not 100% dog person then, I mean if you can give them up and get married and not have any dogs in your life ever again. and that not bother you. I could not live with out my dogs. Thats how much I love them. It takes two to make a marriage and two to agree on a lot of things. If you both cant agree on Dogs and your willing to give them up for him , then they are prob better off being rehomed.

Don't attack me and imply I don't take care of my dogs or don't love them. I never said I will give them away for sure, just trying to figure out how to compromise on the issue. If he doesn't want dogs I should respect his wishes just how you are saying he should respect my thoughts about the dogs and deal with it. Someone has to deal with it, either him or me so whose to say it has to be me. He didn't say I have to chose between him or my dogs just said he would rather not live with dogs. I'm sorry I even asked for advice now.

Who's attacking? just because I gave my opinion does not mean Im attacking. what do you want us to lie and say yes do what your BF wants Thats the best way. Like I said before I would not have a man who does not love animals as I do. If you do then thats your choice. sorry your not going to hear every thing that you want to hear. But you knew that before you posted thats why you said dont put my BF down or what ever it was you said.

No, I want people to reply that have been in my shoes not those who say "I wouldn't be with anyone who didn't like my dogs" and such. I didn't ask should I stay with Kevin or not I asked for advice from those that have been in my situation.