I really need to talk... - YorkieTalk.com Forums

Potter · 03-07-2007, 01:09 PM

Hi guys/gals,

Here I am again...coming to YT to get some answers and support. I know I can rely on you guys.

I just want to know do you ever feel the pressure of people not understanding what makes you love your dog so much (not just yorkie, any dogs) and you treating your dog like your own family member, child? Do you get laughed at? Ridiculed? What do people close to you think? Do they love your dogs too?

Also, a different question for those that chose to not have a child (a human child) and is content with having a furkid, how do you deal with people thinking otherwise of you? I am 28 and neither my husband or I have the inclination to have kids. I know I would love my child if I have one but I really am very contented with my life as of now and I do not want to have a child just yet and I am not sure if I ever would have the feeling and I do not want to have a child just because I feel I am getting old. There is always a choice of adoption. I am just feeling the pressure lately. I feel that in our society, if you are married and do not want kids and prefer to just have a dog and love it a lot, you are perceived as there is something wrong with you. I really can make do with some hugs right now.

bornnygurl · 03-07-2007, 01:44 PM

I'm married with just my 3 furkids (no skin kids) and yes, the general consensus is there is something wrong with me. My mother understands the dog obsession because she is a dog lover too but my father (and the majority of my family) doesn't. He thinks I have something wrong with my brain because I feel complete despite not having or wanting any kids. He thought it was insane the amount of money I spend on my dogs for travel and everything else. But you know what you have to live your life for you. Can't anyone else tell you what's going to make you happy nor are they justified in thinking there is something wrong with you for not wanting what they think you should want/have. It's all about you and what makes you happy. Don't let anyone pressure you into anything. You should have a child when you are ready to have one, not when someone else thinks your ready. It took me a long time to get in this state of mind but I'm finally there.

I still however get the question repeatedly: Where the kids? To which I roll my eyes and keep it moving with a statement like "Are you going to raise them?".

Rudys Mom · 03-07-2007, 01:47 PM

Sending you a hug.

sounds like you need one today. Everyone I know loves dogs also. The only thing I get sometimes is I think people wonder about putting clothes on my dogs. But I don't care, I think they look cute.

As for me, I don't think anything of it if a couple chooses to not have children for one reason or another. We have friends that don't have any children and that's their business.
Hope your day gets better for you.

Breny · 03-07-2007, 01:52 PM

I know exactly what you mean !!! I do not have kids, nor do I want them. I am perfectly happy with only furkids. People just don't seem to get it. My babies are spoiled rotton and I love them more than anything!

My family makes fun of it. I'm to the point where I just don't care anymore.

Its funny, I just had a simular talk with my mom today. I just don't have that motherly feeling towards skin kids. (My mom is a HUGE kid person...HUGE. She LOVES kids. and I mean LOVES)

But I'm different with my furbabies. I guess thats why god created us all different. I have more tolerence for fur babies. If one of my babies makes a mess I just clean it up. If a skin kid makes a mess in my house I FREAK OUT ! Am I crazy?

My point in my post is.....your not alone. No one understands my love for my animals, but like I said...I'm realising that I don't care anymore becasue I have to make me happy. And my furbabies do that !!!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Potter

Hi guys/gals,

Here I am again...coming to YT to get some answers and support. I know I can rely on you guys.

I just want to know do you ever feel the pressure of people not understanding what makes you love your dog so much (not just yorkie, any dogs) and you treating your dog like your own family member, child? Do you get laughed at? Ridiculed? What do people close to you think? Do they love your dogs too?

Also, a different question for those that chose to not have a child (a human child) and is content with having a furkid, how do you deal with people thinking otherwise of you? I am 28 and neither my husband or I have the inclination to have kids. I know I would love my child if I have one but I really am very contented with my life as of now and I do not want to have a child just yet and I am not sure if I ever would have the feeling and I do not want to have a child just because I feel I am getting old. There is always a choice of adoption. I am just feeling the pressure lately. I feel that in our society, if you are married and do not want kids and prefer to just have a dog and love it a lot, you are perceived as there is something wrong with you. I really can make do with some hugs right now.

RLC12345678 · 03-07-2007, 01:52 PM

Sending lots of hugs your way!

Nobody understand my obsession with my dogs...not even my husband. But don't worry. Just consider yourself to be lucky enough to have an extra kind soul to care for a furbaby. And you are not the only one content with having just a furkid and no skin children. Hubby and I talk everyday about whether we actually want children or if we should just have furkids. I'm still very young and still have time to decide, but it is definately something we consider. And you are right...if you ever get the desire to have kids and cannot conceive, you can adopt. Chin up. We're all here for you!

Yorkiedaze · 03-07-2007, 02:01 PM

Don't worry about what other people might think. No matter what you do, don't do, say, don't say and so on, you will never please everyone, so don't even think or worry about it. Just continue being yourself and loving your fur-kid. When or if you are ready for skin kids, you will "know" it. Big hug for you from me and nub wags from my fur girls.

red98vett · 03-07-2007, 02:05 PM

I agree people don't understand....I've raised my kids and having the yorkie girls are like my 2nd time around and I love it just as much as I did with my boys...

My family isn't a 'dog' family so I get alot of eye rolling....I just laugh about it and one of my favorite things to do is start a sentence with...."Want to hear a Chanel & Cheri Story" ? and my dads eyeballs practically dissapear into his head...it's more of a joke now than me actually wanting to tell them a dog story ...I just like the reaction I get

AngelWorks · 03-07-2007, 02:21 PM

I don't understand why anyone would want to pressure someone with no desire to have kids, to have them.

It's not like humans are on the endangered list.

There is more than one way to live a life.

Akina · 03-07-2007, 02:59 PM

Big hug from me and lots of puppy kisses from Momiji to you.
Personaly, if a person feels no desire to have child then we shouldn't force a person to have one. The child will be raised in the environment where she or he won't be receiving the love that the child deserves.
Every children deserve lots of love but if the parents are not sure about having kids, how can they receive love from the parents???
I am in the middle as well. I'm in late 30's and still looking for a husband. I am not really a kid?s person myself so I am not sure....
My father is crazy about kids. He just loves kids so he has been asking for last almost 20 years to be a grand-father!!!
But he also love Momiji (which they haven't met yet... in 2 weeks they will visit me from Japan!!!)
I'm sure I'll love my child to death but do I really want one at this stage, I'm getting old and I am so happy with my yorkie....
So I'll let God decide.
If I have one, then I'll have one.
If not, hope my father will forgive me....

Potter · 03-07-2007, 03:05 PM

Thank you everyone. I feel better. You guys are just the best. I have forgotten the fact that whatever people do, don't do, say or don't say you will never please everyone. I am so used to trying to please everyone as I am new to the family and it is wearing out on me because no one is trying to understand me and where I come from to the point that I am feeling frustrated and pretty upset. At the same time, I also feel in a lot of ways, I am being mistaken without anyone even asking me questions and talking to me!!!! I do not want a human kid and that does not mean I am a bad person, cold-hearted etc! Its fine they dislike me because from the start they have not liked me and the first image is hard to change. I am a tough girl anyways. I just don't understand why people could be so judgemental (without knowing much) and cruel to someone who does not have a lot of social support here. I keep telling myself I am tough but I feel like crying....argh!!!

yorkiegirl83 · 03-07-2007, 03:12 PM

None of my friends or fam understand my obsession w/my dogs. I do plan on having kids too, but I'll still be walking my furbabies all dressed up right along with them. They give me unconditional love, caring, and are always there and for that they deserve absolutely everything I can give them to make their lives as happy as they make mine

LuvMySissy · 03-07-2007, 03:44 PM

No matter what you do, what you say, or how you act - there will always be someone judging/questioning/criticizing you. I know its easier said than done, but don't sweat it - its all small stuff. You love your dog and your husband and that it all you need to be concerned about. I applaud couples who know they are not ready or decide to not have children because they don't feel they want/need them to be fulfilled in their life.

trini&coco · 03-07-2007, 04:27 PM

I have 2 skin-kids. Daughter, Ariel 8 y.o. and my son, Nathan 6 y.o. I love them very much!!! But I am head over heels in love with my fur-babies and nobody understands, not even my partner, she thinks I'm crazy! My partner, friends and family now call me THE DOG LADY...they say I'm obsessed over them. I guess it's a good thing I am proud to be or there would be a lot of hurt feelings...

Bama Yorkie Mom · 03-07-2007, 04:57 PM

I always figure everyone has their own life and to live and let live. Nobodys gonna let you tell them how to live theirs. so to me I say: you can please ALL the people SOME of the time and SOME of the people all the time, but you cant please ALL the people ALL the time so please yourself.

ilovelouie · 03-07-2007, 05:05 PM

Well, Im sending hugs your way too....

I dont know why people think that it is their business anyways as to what your preferance is. It is entirely up to you and what YOU are comfortable with. I had people preasuring me to have kids when earlier than I was ready too and it really bugged me....I did eventually have them, but in MY TIME, what was right for me! Anyways, what would the world be like if there were not people like you and me who are dog lovers.....its bad enough that there is so much abuse and homelessness in the dog world......I say Thank GOD for people like you! And dont stress over what other people say or think. It is NONE of their business...plain and simple....its your life and your free to live it as you wish. Cheer up!

03-07-2007, 01:09 PM	#1
Potter YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 2,583	I really need to talk... Hi guys/gals, Here I am again...coming to YT to get some answers and support. I know I can rely on you guys. I just want to know do you ever feel the pressure of people not understanding what makes you love your dog so much (not just yorkie, any dogs) and you treating your dog like your own family member, child? Do you get laughed at? Ridiculed? What do people close to you think? Do they love your dogs too? Also, a different question for those that chose to not have a child (a human child) and is content with having a furkid, how do you deal with people thinking otherwise of you? I am 28 and neither my husband or I have the inclination to have kids. I know I would love my child if I have one but I really am very contented with my life as of now and I do not want to have a child just yet and I am not sure if I ever would have the feeling and I do not want to have a child just because I feel I am getting old. There is always a choice of adoption. I am just feeling the pressure lately. I feel that in our society, if you are married and do not want kids and prefer to just have a dog and love it a lot, you are perceived as there is something wrong with you. I really can make do with some hugs right now. __________________ http://www.dogster.com/pet_page.php?j=t&i=410379 "No matter how little money and how few possesions you own, having a dog makes you rich."

03-07-2007, 01:47 PM	#3
Rudys Mom Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Lancaster, PA Posts: 4,327	Sending you a hug. sounds like you need one today. Everyone I know loves dogs also. The only thing I get sometimes is I think people wonder about putting clothes on my dogs. But I don't care, I think they look cute. As for me, I don't think anything of it if a couple chooses to not have children for one reason or another. We have friends that don't have any children and that's their business. Hope your day gets better for you. __________________ Rudy, Zoey & Buster's mom (Dawn) Rest In Peace my precious Gracie girl & Lucky buddie Dogster:http://www.dogster.com/dogs/382659 & http://www.dogster.com/dogs/497315

03-07-2007, 02:05 PM	#7
red98vett Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Houston TX Posts: 33,590 Blog Entries: 1	I agree people don't understand....I've raised my kids and having the yorkie girls are like my 2nd time around and I love it just as much as I did with my boys... My family isn't a 'dog' family so I get alot of eye rolling....I just laugh about it and one of my favorite things to do is start a sentence with...."Want to hear a Chanel & Cheri Story" ? and my dads eyeballs practically dissapear into his head...it's more of a joke now than me actually wanting to tell them a dog story ...I just like the reaction I get __________________ Villette, Chanel & Cheri www.DesignsByVillette.net Custom Address Labels and Note Cards using YOUR Photos! Just Click HERE!

03-07-2007, 03:05 PM	#10
Potter YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 2,583	Thank you everyone. I feel better. You guys are just the best. I have forgotten the fact that whatever people do, don't do, say or don't say you will never please everyone. I am so used to trying to please everyone as I am new to the family and it is wearing out on me because no one is trying to understand me and where I come from to the point that I am feeling frustrated and pretty upset. At the same time, I also feel in a lot of ways, I am being mistaken without anyone even asking me questions and talking to me!!!! I do not want a human kid and that does not mean I am a bad person, cold-hearted etc! Its fine they dislike me because from the start they have not liked me and the first image is hard to change. I am a tough girl anyways. I just don't understand why people could be so judgemental (without knowing much) and cruel to someone who does not have a lot of social support here. I keep telling myself I am tough but I feel like crying....argh!!! __________________ http://www.dogster.com/pet_page.php?j=t&i=410379 "No matter how little money and how few possesions you own, having a dog makes you rich."

03-07-2007, 03:44 PM	#12
LuvMySissy Luv my Angel, too! Donating Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: USA Posts: 9,333	No matter what you do, what you say, or how you act - there will always be someone judging/questioning/criticizing you. I know its easier said than done, but don't sweat it - its all small stuff. You love your dog and your husband and that it all you need to be concerned about. I applaud couples who know they are not ready or decide to not have children because they don't feel they want/need them to be fulfilled in their life. __________________ Sissy & Angel

03-07-2007, 01:44 PM	#2
bornnygurl No Longer a Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 1,470	I'm married with just my 3 furkids (no skin kids) and yes, the general consensus is there is something wrong with me. My mother understands the dog obsession because she is a dog lover too but my father (and the majority of my family) doesn't. He thinks I have something wrong with my brain because I feel complete despite not having or wanting any kids. He thought it was insane the amount of money I spend on my dogs for travel and everything else. But you know what you have to live your life for you. Can't anyone else tell you what's going to make you happy nor are they justified in thinking there is something wrong with you for not wanting what they think you should want/have. It's all about you and what makes you happy. Don't let anyone pressure you into anything. You should have a child when you are ready to have one, not when someone else thinks your ready. It took me a long time to get in this state of mind but I'm finally there. I still however get the question repeatedly: Where the kids? To which I roll my eyes and keep it moving with a statement like "Are you going to raise them?".

03-07-2007, 01:52 PM	#5
RLC12345678 I heart Hootie & Hobbs Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: USA Posts: 7,149	Sending lots of hugs your way! Nobody understand my obsession with my dogs...not even my husband. But don't worry. Just consider yourself to be lucky enough to have an extra kind soul to care for a furbaby. And you are not the only one content with having just a furkid and no skin children. Hubby and I talk everyday about whether we actually want children or if we should just have furkids. I'm still very young and still have time to decide, but it is definately something we consider. And you are right...if you ever get the desire to have kids and cannot conceive, you can adopt. Chin up. We're all here for you!

03-07-2007, 02:01 PM	#6
Yorkiedaze My hairy-legged girls Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: lompoc, ca. Posts: 12,228	Don't worry about what other people might think. No matter what you do, don't do, say, don't say and so on, you will never please everyone, so don't even think or worry about it. Just continue being yourself and loving your fur-kid. When or if you are ready for skin kids, you will "know" it. Big hug for you from me and nub wags from my fur girls.

03-07-2007, 02:21 PM	#8
AngelWorks Donating YT Addict Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: NY Posts: 1,752	I don't understand why anyone would want to pressure someone with no desire to have kids, to have them. It's not like humans are on the endangered list. There is more than one way to live a life.

03-07-2007, 02:59 PM	#9
Akina YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: San Mateo Posts: 887	Big hug from me and lots of puppy kisses from Momiji to you. Personaly, if a person feels no desire to have child then we shouldn't force a person to have one. The child will be raised in the environment where she or he won't be receiving the love that the child deserves. Every children deserve lots of love but if the parents are not sure about having kids, how can they receive love from the parents??? I am in the middle as well. I'm in late 30's and still looking for a husband. I am not really a kid?s person myself so I am not sure.... My father is crazy about kids. He just loves kids so he has been asking for last almost 20 years to be a grand-father!!! But he also love Momiji (which they haven't met yet... in 2 weeks they will visit me from Japan!!!) I'm sure I'll love my child to death but do I really want one at this stage, I'm getting old and I am so happy with my yorkie.... So I'll let God decide. If I have one, then I'll have one. If not, hope my father will forgive me....

03-07-2007, 03:12 PM	#11
yorkiegirl83 Love My Furbabies! Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: somewhere Posts: 4,427	None of my friends or fam understand my obsession w/my dogs. I do plan on having kids too, but I'll still be walking my furbabies all dressed up right along with them. They give me unconditional love, caring, and are always there and for that they deserve absolutely everything I can give them to make their lives as happy as they make mine

03-07-2007, 04:27 PM	#13
trini&coco Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 1,340	I have 2 skin-kids. Daughter, Ariel 8 y.o. and my son, Nathan 6 y.o. I love them very much!!! But I am head over heels in love with my fur-babies and nobody understands, not even my partner, she thinks I'm crazy! My partner, friends and family now call me THE DOG LADY...they say I'm obsessed over them. I guess it's a good thing I am proud to be or there would be a lot of hurt feelings... __________________ Shayley Pixie Gracie Coco Trini and Their Family We wub, wub, wub YT

03-07-2007, 04:57 PM	#14
Bama Yorkie Mom Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Alabama Posts: 2,134	I always figure everyone has their own life and to live and let live. Nobodys gonna let you tell them how to live theirs. so to me I say: you can please ALL the people SOME of the time and SOME of the people all the time, but you cant please ALL the people ALL the time so please yourself. __________________ Linda and Maggie http://www.dogster.com/dogs/490696. http://www.dropshots.com/mnl

03-07-2007, 05:05 PM	#15
ilovelouie YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: mass Posts: 1,762	Well, Im sending hugs your way too.... I dont know why people think that it is their business anyways as to what your preferance is. It is entirely up to you and what YOU are comfortable with. I had people preasuring me to have kids when earlier than I was ready too and it really bugged me....I did eventually have them, but in MY TIME, what was right for me! Anyways, what would the world be like if there were not people like you and me who are dog lovers.....its bad enough that there is so much abuse and homelessness in the dog world......I say Thank GOD for people like you! And dont stress over what other people say or think. It is NONE of their business...plain and simple....its your life and your free to live it as you wish. Cheer up! __________________ Our Photo Album is HERE http://www.dogster.com/?185528 http://www.dogster.com/?246319