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03-29-2006, 06:00 AM | #1 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: May 2005 Location: brooklyn
Posts: 97
| having to choose between my boyfriend and my puppy I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and he was with me when I bought pixie. She was a gift from my family because they were moving and I wanted to have a champanion. At the time me and my boyfriend had just started dating and I just wanted to experience living alone first. I wanted us to get to know eachother better and I always wanted to be at least engaged by the time he moved in. Now we are plan on a engagement and we have been talking about it. but he hates my puppy. is she still one at a year and 3 months because she chews on everything. So this morning when I woke up to find alex's phone charger chewed up he freaked out. yelling and telling me that he cant live like this and that we are never going to live together because of it. I told him that she chews on things that are every where and to put it in high places and he was like this is no way to live. I was crying so much this morning because he was trying to make me choose and I cant. I love pixie so much and she doesnt know. its so hard being with someone that doesnt love animals as much as i do. I feel so bad for pixie because I can tell that she knows he doesnt like her. She always barks when he kisses me and it pisses him off. but i tell him its because your not around so much and l give her all my attention when we are alone most of the time and she gets jealous. I love this man. he is my life and my future. I understand how he feels but I feel like pixie is my baggage and if he cant except her then he doesnt love me. All I know is that im hurt and I wanted to get some advice as to what to tell him to make him realize that he is wrong and that he has to except me and my dog. |
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03-29-2006, 06:04 AM | #2 |
My Best Friend Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: oklahoma
Posts: 2,258
| Try crating her when she isn't being watched. Or try the x-pen to keep her confined when you aren't able to watch her. That way she isn't chewing things up. Otherwise I say lose the boyfriend. It has been my expereince if they aren't animal lovers they aren't that good to you either. Sorry to be blunt I didn't know how else to say that. I hope it all works out for you. |
03-29-2006, 06:06 AM | #3 |
YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Mt. Ulla, NC
Posts: 683
| JMO, but I feel your right when you say that she is part of your bagagge. Our dogs are our family and someone should never ask you to give your puppy up. He should not make you choose..... Like I said JMO..... Crystal
__________________ RIP My little Lucy Live forever my Lucy Too, Tank and Annabelle |
03-29-2006, 06:07 AM | #4 |
Lily Loves Maximus Donating Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Missouri
Posts: 2,633
| This is a tough one! First of all, it doesn't sound like he wants to compete for your attention with Pixie. This situation will not improve with time either. He sounds like he really needs to grow up. Hope that doesn't offend you.
__________________ Lily and Dawn |
03-29-2006, 06:12 AM | #5 |
Gina, (Lexi's Mommy) Donating Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: LONG ISLAND,NY
Posts: 10,455
| i would never ever ever give my lexi up for anyone... give him up... obviously he is not an animal lover and never will be... just my opinion.. i know its hard to even have to think about choosing, i cant believe he is giving you an ultimatum.. whats that about... give him his walking papers if he dont like it... there is plenty fish in the sea....and to me, if you do keep the pup he will never love it
__________________ Gina & Lexi CLICK HERE for our Photo Album ... |
03-29-2006, 06:13 AM | #6 |
My Little Biker Dude Donating Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Alabama
Posts: 2,065
| Oh wow...this is a hard one. My husband and I have been married for 24 years. Oscar was like Pixie and chewed on everything and it made him mad. He finally chewed his laptop power supply cord and I was afraid that was the last straw. But I started crating Oscar when we were not around him. Even now, if we leave him alone, he is in his crate. Plus, when he chewed on something like that, he was scolded pretty bad...he knew better next time. As far as her barking when he kisses you, she is just saying that you are hers. He will just have to get used to it. Scold her when she does this if you don't want her to bark and she will figure it out. As far as him making you choose, there may be other underlying problems that might have been there before Pixie. In my opinion, Yorkies can be very much like children...they behave the same way sometimes. Were you planning to have children with this man...will this be something he can handle...some will say that you can't compare animals and children but it is something to think about. Marriage is a very give and take situation. You need to be sure and read all the warning flags before you commit to it. I wish you the best, I wish your boyfriend the best and wish little Pixie the best. You have a lot to think about and consider here.
__________________ ******************** Debbie G. - Oscar's Mom ********** PRAYERS FOR ALL THOSE KICKING CANCER'S BUTT!!! ****************** RIP SHARON 8-10-63 to 9-21-08 |
03-29-2006, 06:14 AM | #7 |
Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Alabama
Posts: 11,432
| I think maybe boyfriend is a little jealous... JMO, but I think that if he can't deal with something like a dog from the get go, you guys are bound for trouble. In a marriage, 2 people have to give and take an accept things about one another that may be different from their own beliefs and experiences. Pixie is part of your life and he doesn't have to adore her, but he needs to accept that this is one of those give and take situations. Besides that, he needs to partially accept responsibility for the phone charger situation...dogs are dogs, some chew on things some don't...some can be broken of it, some can't. If you have a dog that is a chewer, put your crap up so that the dog can't get to it. My husband used to be the world's worst about leaving video game controlers stretched accross the floor. I had a rabbit (that hubby bought me) that had a love for chewing electrical cords and baseboards. About the 3rd time that the rabbit...who was there long before the controlers...chewed through one and he had to replace it at about $30 a pop...he learned to pick them up and accept it. The way I see it, you shouldn't have to choose him or the dog, he should have to choose you AND the dog, or being alone. Again, this is all just my take on it. |
03-29-2006, 06:19 AM | #8 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Fort Worth, Texas
Posts: 1,279
| I would never give up my animals just because my BF does not like them. My BF now fiancee does not like my cat at all, but he would never tell me to get rid of her. If your BF is acting this way towards a pet, how do you think he would act if you had kids. Kids chew and break things just like a puppy. |
03-29-2006, 06:19 AM | #9 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: US
Posts: 955
| We keep Trixie in a gated in area when we can't watch her as well. When you have a dog, I guess you can expect some things to get chewed on. Trixie has chewed through some cords as well and my husband got upset about it. Now, the computer room is off limits to her. So my advice would be to keep her in an area where she can't chew on anything when you or your fiancee can't watch her closely. Pixie shouldn't be barking though when your fiancee kisses you. If you know the Dog Whisperer, he'd probably tell you that the dog is your leader and you should be your dog's leader.
__________________ Trixie |
03-29-2006, 06:19 AM | #10 |
Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member | I hate to sound like this - but what is he going to do when or IF you ever have kids ? IF he didn't want something chewed on - then he needs to put it out of her reach.... I feel for you - but I would really think about his personality... if a dog can be this upsetting...then how is he going to handle WORSE problems? A little dog who chews is a MINOR problem in the larger scope of our lives.....That can be remedied by just keeping things out of reach...and if he doesn't have feelings for her now - then in MY opinion...he probably never will. How sad for you....If he really loved you - he would love your dog....or at least accept her. He shouldn't be MAKING you choose....how immature..... I would have no problem making my mind up |
03-29-2006, 06:22 AM | #11 |
YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 687
| i posted about something similar recently and i still havent really figured it out i can tell you i see the bf less... i think it says alot about a person on how they are with animals... gl i wish i had good advise for ya but i'm in a similar boat! |
03-29-2006, 06:23 AM | #12 |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Mississippi
Posts: 1,459
| I admire you for coming here for advice not knowing what you would receive in return. Because all of us here at YT are Yorkie lovers (and any animal lover), all of the advice is going to lean towards keeping Pixie. My advice is no different than the others. Think of it this way....if he's asking (or demanding) that she goes or he goes, what's going to happen in the future if there's a "habit" of yours that he says now he can live with but later on says either you change or I'm gone? Really, really look outside the proverbial "box" on this one and follow your heart and your head. In my honest opinion, if a man can't accept a woman (or vice versa) the way they are when they meet and fall in love, he/she isn't worth having. They fell in love for a reason, not because of a "habit" or a pet (who's more like family than they are). During the dating process, neither party tries to "change" the other - it's only when things turn to a more serious note that things start to come out of the "closet". If he's making demands and such now and you aren't even engaged (unless I read that wrong), as I said, what's he going to do the deeper the relationship gets? Just something to think about. Best of luck to you! Suzi |
03-29-2006, 06:26 AM | #13 |
YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Indiana
Posts: 950
| My husband isn't an animal lover either BUT he knows that I am and respects that. Any man that would make you choose between him and someone or something else (unless it's a bad something or someone else) doesn't love. If he truly loved you then there is no way he could ask you to choose. Do you really want to be with someone that threatens to leave you everytime he wants his way?
__________________ LOVE MEANS MORE THAN JUST HUGS & KISSES!! |
03-29-2006, 06:30 AM | #14 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Sault Ste. Marie Ontario Canada
Posts: 860
| oh, hon....how terrible that you have to go through this! I can't imagine being with someone who didn't feel the same way I do about my animals. My husband knows I love my pets, and I'm sure is not crazy about all the money I spend on them, but he loves me so will do whatever it takes to make me happy. I'm of the belief that a relationship should be that way...and I can't see why you should be put in the position to choose between the boyfriend and your pup...or your boyfriend and anything for that matter! To me that is truly unfair of him to ask that of you....and it's not taking your feelings into consideration at all. Your feelings are important and sacrificing them now, before you're even engaged, sets a precedent that could set you up for years of having to sacrifice other things in deference to him. I would definitely do some hard thinking about your relationship. If you were to give up your Pixie, then what next? |
03-29-2006, 06:32 AM | #15 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 944
| I'm so sorry to hear you have having problems. I personally would never give up Sango for the world. I would sooner let my man go than my puppy. I think you've gotten some great advice here from the others. I also agree that crate training would be an excellent idea. I'm not sure if you confine her in an area when she is unsupervised, but I think that will definetly help until she gets over the chewing everything stage. Maybe getting an X-pen to keep her in an area, free of personal things she can get into and chew on and give her some chew toys. This way it will protect you all. My major concern is if she's chewing on cell phone charger cords there's a chance that she could get electrocuted. And that would be devastating. Another suggestion is perhaps you can try to get Pixie to interact with him more. So she won't be as protective of you and dislike him so much. Maybe poor Pixie hasn't gotten a chance to really get to know him anf trust him. Although, I'm not sure if your boyfriend would go for that, but if he's willing to do so you guys should give that a shot. Have him play with her and give her some treats. I really do hope everything works out for you girlie. Do keep us posted. And as the other have said before, if worse comes to worse get rid of the BF, there are plenty more out there that would love you & every aspect of your life. Especially you furbaby. They don't say "Love me, love my dog." for nothin'
__________________ Sango , Vash http://www.dogster.com/?180653 Sango's Dogster |
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