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Old 09-14-2019, 09:15 PM   #1
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Default My Tibbe Boy

Copy of a DM to Chiibluv - Veronica, I sent earlier tonight. I decided have to share now that wound is open wider. Only way I can share such news now that Veronica found his picture, bio, know others soon will, too. Was pain out of the blue but time has come. Decided this is time to share the awful news with my fellow YT'ers. Sorry had to do it this way. May not be back on YT for while, don't know if I can:

Originally Posted by ChibiLuv
Scroll down to Texas
United Yorkie Rescue - A 501(c)(3) Non-Profit Yorkshire Terrier Rescue Organization

How crazy! Doppelgänger!
I almost thought it was him but then I knew you’d definitely call me first right
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh, I didn't expect this! The pain too raw, new, to try to share yet. But you asked so I have to answer.
No, it's my baby Tibbe. You were in a terrible place, grieving after losing Chib, me, too. I'd already asked too much of you once so couldn't again. Besides, I couldn't pay you either now.

My health took a total dive, couldn't recover from blood-loss anemia from that last total hip replacement, no matter what they've tried, the anemia persists. Lost weight, all blood counts low in everything, can't eat, fatigued beyond belief, fell in back yard, now both replaced hips hurting so bad can barely get up at times, right hip has to be re-replaced when can tolerate it. Migraine headaches began so bad I had to have Botox injections, helped some. Doctor says it like PTSD type reaction to all the pain, stress and he didn't know how guilty I was feeling about Tibbe's poor lifestyle.

I came to realize I could no longer provide my precious little love the life he deserves.My beloved baby has earned the right to a fun, happy, worry-free life, get walked daily, round-housed with, chased as he loves, lifted up when his arthritis makes him hesitate to use doggie steps. I couldn't anymore. Couldn't even bathe him the last 2 mos. He worried about me, seemed so tense, tried to help, so morose when I couldn't play with him.
Asked my dog-dedicated son who has worked with dogs, training aggressive dogs, behavior modification, etc., and worked in rescue to take over as I couldn't emotionally handle the terms of giving my baby up to foster.

I just couldn't do it, Veronica. I'm so depleted, cried every time I spoke of it and Dad immediately found him a wonderful caretaker, a real Yorkie lover whose last Yorkie baby has been gone quite a while. Dan drove him down, visited w/new mom, checked out his new home. Dan says he's now living in a luxury glass-backed home overlooking a golf course near Austin, Texas, with her daughter and family, their dogs, a few doors down, to fill out his family circle. He's such a little ham, his new caretaker said he's eating up all the social time, play and attention and activity he's now getting when I last spoke to her Tuesday. Cried rest of day, it helps, hurts so to hear. My baby's getting a good life again! The guilt is somewhat less now that Tibbe's getting a good life but replaced by utter loss, pain & failure. No one ever thinks they'll get this disabled, fail their beloved, dog of their heart. I never did.

Just couldn't share it on YT yet, not until I feel way way stronger. Now the shock has worn off and the real hurt and loss has set in. Tibbe's gone. No more warm Tibbe body nearby, no Tibbe kisses or hugs, no nightlong cuddle sleeps. No Buddy Days where he got all his wishes filled. House is empty. His things are all over, as if he'll walk right in. He may not, not ever again if I can't get all problems fixed.

Not prepared even now to share this news with my sister or rest of family, the wound too new, raw, but couldn't just give you of all people, Veronica, a terse or brief reply. You asked, deserved to know the truth. You were a lifesaver for Tibbe and me once and I owe you an answer since you had to ask though honestly I wish you hadn't yet, the pain is so bad, it's really bad. Someone who has to foster, to give up their very own beloved baby may be racked with pain, not ready to give any answer, especially now. That's me but I had to answer you. This is killing me right now, so better close. Sorry for the bitterness, it's just the hurt talking. You are right. My baby Tibbe, my cute, cartoon, darling dog, my heart, my smile, has gone away. To a better, fun,sociall, active life, it seems but am wrought w/guilt and hope, prayer that he's better off. I love him so. I love him forever. You're right. My Tibbe's gone, Veronica. He's gone. Jeanie

Please, please, please don't share this. I can't deal with any more direct messages about Tibbe or others discussing my little boy! My Tibbe is mine in my heart and soul but he's gone to a much better life and it's killing me.
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Old 09-15-2019, 06:59 AM   #2
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Ohhh Jeanie, I am so very, very sorry, words cannot express the pain I feel for you. I know you don't want messages of symphony but I just could not ignore this post. You showed your greatest love for Tibbe by giving him a chance of a happier life, I don't think I could be so unselfish if I were in your shoes. I will pray your health improves. We all love you and you will be missed ((hugs))) my friend
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Old 09-15-2019, 10:52 AM   #3
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I’m so sorry. I know this has to be one of the hardest things ever. I’m not a huge crying person but I cried for you. Doing what you did shows a huge amount of love.
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Old 09-15-2019, 11:31 AM   #4
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Please take care of you You know Tibbie is in a caring place And please don't leave yt it was a source of a lot of awesome memories which helps us all thru the tough times in life Big hugs
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Old 09-15-2019, 11:40 AM   #5
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I feel so bad! I was sure you’d reply laughing about how it looked just like him and had the same name. I hope he has found a great home otherwise he’s always welcome here, always, always. I’m so sorry you are going through this
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Old 09-15-2019, 12:07 PM   #6
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Oh dear how devastating! I am looking at similar situation as I set up my will and trust most of which involved Cali future. So Cali has become a trust fund baby! My son and family are great but being in the military is not a stable thing for Cali so had to consider other options. Tibbe and Jeanne have been a mainstay of knowledge and encouragement here at Yorkietalk so I hope and pray Jeanne won’t take that away from us anytime soon. So glad Tibbe is in good place, so now I have to wonder if Jeanne is taking the best care of herself!

Of course we think about of Yorkies first and foremost! Guess that is just part of being a Yorkie parent!
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Old 09-15-2019, 01:07 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly View Post
Copy of a DM to Chiibluv - Veronica, I sent earlier tonight. I decided have to share now that wound is open wider. Only way I can share such news now that Veronica found his picture, bio, know others soon will, too. Was pain out of the blue but time has come. Decided this is time to share the awful news with my fellow YT'ers. Sorry had to do it this way. May not be back on YT for while, don't know if I can:

Originally Posted by ChibiLuv
Scroll down to Texas
United Yorkie Rescue - A 501(c)(3) Non-Profit Yorkshire Terrier Rescue Organization

How crazy! Doppelgänger!
I almost thought it was him but then I knew you’d definitely call me first right
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh, I didn't expect this! The pain too raw, new, to try to share yet. But you asked so I have to answer.
No, it's my baby Tibbe. You were in a terrible place, grieving after losing Chib, me, too. I'd already asked too much of you once so couldn't again. Besides, I couldn't pay you either now.

My health took a total dive, couldn't recover from blood-loss anemia from that last total hip replacement, no matter what they've tried, the anemia persists. Lost weight, all blood counts low in everything, can't eat, fatigued beyond belief, fell in back yard, now both replaced hips hurting so bad can barely get up at times, right hip has to be re-replaced when can tolerate it. Migraine headaches began so bad I had to have Botox injections, helped some. Doctor says it like PTSD type reaction to all the pain, stress and he didn't know how guilty I was feeling about Tibbe's poor lifestyle.

I came to realize I could no longer provide my precious little love the life he deserves.My beloved baby has earned the right to a fun, happy, worry-free life, get walked daily, round-housed with, chased as he loves, lifted up when his arthritis makes him hesitate to use doggie steps. I couldn't anymore. Couldn't even bathe him the last 2 mos. He worried about me, seemed so tense, tried to help, so morose when I couldn't play with him.
Asked my dog-dedicated son who has worked with dogs, training aggressive dogs, behavior modification, etc., and worked in rescue to take over as I couldn't emotionally handle the terms of giving my baby up to foster.

I just couldn't do it, Veronica. I'm so depleted, cried every time I spoke of it and Dad immediately found him a wonderful caretaker, a real Yorkie lover whose last Yorkie baby has been gone quite a while. Dan drove him down, visited w/new mom, checked out his new home. Dan says he's now living in a luxury glass-backed home overlooking a golf course near Austin, Texas, with her daughter and family, their dogs, a few doors down, to fill out his family circle. He's such a little ham, his new caretaker said he's eating up all the social time, play and attention and activity he's now getting when I last spoke to her Tuesday. Cried rest of day, it helps, hurts so to hear. My baby's getting a good life again! The guilt is somewhat less now that Tibbe's getting a good life but replaced by utter loss, pain & failure. No one ever thinks they'll get this disabled, fail their beloved, dog of their heart. I never did.

Just couldn't share it on YT yet, not until I feel way way stronger. Now the shock has worn off and the real hurt and loss has set in. Tibbe's gone. No more warm Tibbe body nearby, no Tibbe kisses or hugs, no nightlong cuddle sleeps. No Buddy Days where he got all his wishes filled. House is empty. His things are all over, as if he'll walk right in. He may not, not ever again if I can't get all problems fixed.

Not prepared even now to share this news with my sister or rest of family, the wound too new, raw, but couldn't just give you of all people, Veronica, a terse or brief reply. You asked, deserved to know the truth. You were a lifesaver for Tibbe and me once and I owe you an answer since you had to ask though honestly I wish you hadn't yet, the pain is so bad, it's really bad. Someone who has to foster, to give up their very own beloved baby may be racked with pain, not ready to give any answer, especially now. That's me but I had to answer you. This is killing me right now, so better close. Sorry for the bitterness, it's just the hurt talking. You are right. My baby Tibbe, my cute, cartoon, darling dog, my heart, my smile, has gone away. To a better, fun,sociall, active life, it seems but am wrought w/guilt and hope, prayer that he's better off. I love him so. I love him forever. You're right. My Tibbe's gone, Veronica. He's gone. Jeanie

Please, please, please don't share this. I can't deal with any more direct messages about Tibbe or others discussing my little boy! My Tibbe is mine in my heart and soul but he's gone to a much better life and it's killing me.
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I am so sorry that you are continuing to have such health issues, Jeanie. I am also sorry that you had to give up your beloved boy, Tibbe.

You said it all in the highlighted portion above....FIRST of all, I do hope you continue to remind yourself that Tibbe is living a good life and never let guilt creep in. Loss will be there...but sometimes we have to do things that make us very sad in order to give the best to another we love. What you did was so very loving....I have prayed I would have the strength if I ever had to make a decision like that which brings up the second part of that highlighted portion of your post: none of us can guarantee that we will be healthy beyond today...we only have today!

I hope you will return to YT as you do have a lot to share and you have been here as a member of this family for so long and we all care about you. It might be healing for you....but, only you can make that decision.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
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Old 09-15-2019, 01:38 PM   #8
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DM I logged on to send Veronica to apologize for appalling behavior. Apologize for you all having to see me like this:

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChibiLuv
I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry. I’m glad it sounds like he’s in a happy home. I honestly didn’t think it could be him but he’s the only dog I’ve met named Tibbe. I wish you would have reached out though. I would have been happy to help. He was still my favorite foster/ house guest ever. I understand though. I’m here for you if you need anything. When your ready. Hugs
Oh, Veronica, I logged on to YT to publish a public apology to you for my rudeness. You had no idea, acted out of interest, concern. I haven't slept for a while, am tired, bitter and every fiber in my being wants Tibbe back. Foster mom offered to send pix and I asked her to give it a while, couldn't bear seeing him elsewhere, even though he's getting his daily needs, fun, social life, met.

I clicked on that link, saw my sweet, precious boy's picture and just lost it, worse than I ever have since he's been gone. I told foster mom he was due his dental end of August, same time he has it every year & his foster mom said not to worry, she'd take care of all his needs, vetting. I always fully funded vetting, needs of every dog I took or fostered back in the day when I did it, for years, didn't know it was done any differently now. Looked like they were waiting for donations or something. I want him back so badly anyway, saw that, just got so angry, frustrated, sad, lonelier than ever. He's the love of my life and I'm getting him back if foster mom waiting on donations for that baby's vet care. Course maybe they want to allow him to settle in better B4 they put him through all that, got to think rationally.

Got to wait until I cool down to call her. Am not really sane as I should be on him right now and I can't keep acting like a rude, thoughtless wingnut.

Don't you feel a whit bad, YOU did nothing wrong. Made me realize it was time to tell YT Tibbe was gone no matter how it hurt. Had to post that thread and get off site, settle down or I would have apologized to you immediately. I know I can't care for him the way he deserves, foster mom and family can. I know they will.

Veronica, you are a precious soul. I love you for your loving, caring ways. Thank you for being an unbelievable friend, there for me even when I don't deserve it. And when you kept Tibbe, when I was so weak I couldn't trust myself to drive across town and back to your house, you brought Tibbe to the groomer near me so all I had to do was be upright a short while when he was ready to leave there. It meant the world. I'll owe you always for all those things.

And Matese, Joan, God bless you for your sweet, loving support. Ya'll have made me cry again but it's for a very, very different reason. Am SO sorry, Veronica, can't say that often enough. You are super, lady, truly super. Love you, Jeanie
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Old 09-15-2019, 01:48 PM   #9
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Sweet ladies, all who've replied, give me some time. Eyes blurry from tears from reading your amazing, supportive posts. I feel so worthless, guilty, worried sick about Tibbe, love, miss him so, never expected this support, only scorn for fostering my baby. But he deserves the best life he can have. Little Tibbe's the best baby boy that ever was. Ya'll's support posts are totally unexpected but should have known what a precious bunch every one of you are. I don't deserve your kindness, apologize for my curt, rude tone of my DM to lovely Veronica. She's a treasure, special. Truly loves dogs and people! All I can say is I was in a bad, bad place after seeing my Tibbe and the donations part, posting he needed dental when they knew his yearly dental was due. No excuses but thankfully I've got to think little Tibbe is better off. I've got to believe that or I'll go crazy.

Got to close but soon will be back on and answer each of your special post. I apologize for everything.
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Old 09-15-2019, 02:07 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly View Post
Sweet ladies, all who've replied, give me some time. Eyes blurry from tears from reading your amazing, supportive posts. I feel so worthless, guilty, worried sick about Tibbe, love, miss him so, never expected this support, only scorn for fostering my baby. But he deserves the best life he can have. Little Tibbe's the best baby boy that ever was. Ya'll's support posts are totally unexpected but should have known what a precious bunch every one of you are. I don't deserve your kindness, apologize for my curt, rude tone of my DM to lovely Veronica. She's a treasure, special. Truly loves dogs and people! All I can say is I was in a bad, bad place after seeing my Tibbe and the donations part, posting he needed dental when they knew his yearly dental was due. No excuses but thankfully I've got to think little Tibbe is better off. I've got to believe that or I'll go crazy.

Got to close but soon will be back on and answer each of your special post. I apologize for everything.

Jeanie, you don't owe anyone an apology.

As for Tibbe's dental, the rescue will for sure take care of his needs! All rescues need to solicit donations.....I didn't read that post to say that they wouldn't do it without the money in hand. They would not do that!
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Old 09-15-2019, 03:54 PM   #11
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I agree, no apologies needed. I can only imagine what you must be going through. I guess part of my disbelief is that you didn’t ask for help, but I can understand where your head was. I just want you to know Tibbe was part of our family when he was here and I would always take him, for a day, a week, a month or however long you needed. I wouldn’t have accepted your money either. I just didn’t ever want you to feel alone, I and the rest of YT are here for you! I’m happy if he’s happy but I’m not going to lie, I miss him too. My heart goes out to you and I hope you feel all the love being sent your way!
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Old 09-15-2019, 04:29 PM   #12
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When I first saw your post this morning, I immediately started a reply...but I restrained myself since I wanted to respect your wish for some space. I am a "newer" member, but spent much time visiting YT before I began posting myself. During my time becoming acquainted with the site, I partly decided to take the plunge due to many of the kind, empathetic and informative posts you shared.

My husband and I are at the stage of life where we had to give serious consideration to bringing our last two puppies into our home. We are retired, and have lots of time to share with our boys...but we have a slower lifestyle as time goes on. We have made plans if the time comes when we cannot offer them the life they deserve, but I do not know if I can truly be as brave, and loving as you if that time does arrive. If it does, I will aspire to be as selfless and compassionate as you.

It breaks my heart, and brings me to tears, to know the pain your decision has brought you. Please be comforted to know that there are many, many here on YT who have benefited from your wisdom over the years, and who wish you nothing but healing and peace.
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Old 09-16-2019, 10:25 PM   #13
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Hi Jeanie when I read your post, it made me very sad to learn about your health taking a dive and having to give up Tibbe. Although I'm a new dog owner, I really appreciated your advice to me when I told you Bella was afraid of dogs bigger than her. I think that you are an amazing and a very strong person and you did the right thing for Tibbe. If I were in your shoes I would do the same thing. Tibbe will always love and remember you. I read somewhere that dogs always remember their first loving owner. I enjoy reading your experiences and suggestions and I'm sure everyone else here does too. Please take care of yourself firstly and mostly; and post whenever you are up to it and stay in touch okay. Thank you!

Bella's Mom from Canada
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Old 09-21-2019, 12:06 PM   #14
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I love you Jeanne. I'm crying as I read your mail. May the Lord of all comfort send Angel's to surround you with love at this time. You have been a great support for me. Always giving wise advice and caring about about others. Rest and know how much you mean to all of us.
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Old 09-24-2019, 07:49 AM   #15
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It's the little things, the small, everyday occurrences that you'll remember. The laughs, the stories, the smiles. And even though it seems like you can never recover from your loss, it is these very memories that will help push the pain away and bring back the smiles.

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.

I am so deeply and truly sorry for all you are having to make it through...But make it through you shall. My heart and prayers go out to you. You made an impossible decision and the absolute right decision at an impossible time. You are quite heroic and may God bless you and yours always.
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