I'm getting the 'Cold Shoulder'

[docmartin]

A month or so back Crystal started her 1st season and just before this occurrence I had a spinal operation, that has still left me unable to walk very far.

The joint effect of these events has led her to cling to my wife, to the extent that she no longer sits with - or shows any prolonged interest in me, unless I bribe her with treats.

A strange reaction and I've comforted myself by designating this change to hormonal influences?

Someone I met recently, who has owned 4 Yorkies over his lifetime admitted similar circumstances with one of his ladies too. He tried deliberately ignoring her, which whilst it worked, led him to a lasting feeling of subsidiarity.

Consequently, they (older couple) added a miniature Dachsund puppy to the family, which is now firmly 'Dad's girl and they all live in harmony, after initial collisions!

My wife will shortly be visiting her native country for three weeks and Crystal will be forced to rely on Dad again. Has anyone else experienced this altered selective behavior, or could help with a plan to return relationships to normal?

[kjc]

I'd give her a bit more time... heats can affect them for 2-3 months. Hope you're feeling better soon...

[margaritaville]

Maybe you need to get yourself a dog. That will show her!

I'm sure while your wife is away Crystal will turn around. Do you feed her and still take her on her walks? Even if you could just leash her up and go sit outside on a bench or chair alone with her.

[docmartin]

Originally Posted by margaritaville

Maybe you need to get yourself a dog. That will show her!

I'm sure while your wife is away Crystal will turn around. Do you feed her and still take her on her walks? Even if you could just leash her up and go sit outside on a bench or chair alone with her.

I feed her breakfast every day and always share my tea and biccies with her in the afternoons. I did struggle to take her about 200 yards yesterday, but it's too much for me again just at the moment I regret. So far today we've not conversed and Crystal's now sat in Irina's room as she's out shopping. I'm definitely 'persona non grata'. I could make it to a seat near home on the sea front, but I just don't think she's interested any more?

We had a wonderful TV series on Battersea Dog's Home here which finished last night and when I can drive again maybe I'll go have a look and see if there's a little soul (puppy this time) needing love and help?

[kjc]

(Mommie must have better treats!)

[docmartin]

Originally Posted by kjc

(Mommie must have better treats!)

My wife never gives her any - their ALL from Dad!

[Harrysmum]

Originally Posted by docmartin

I feed her breakfast every day and always share my tea and biccies with her in the afternoons. I did struggle to take her about 200 yards yesterday, but it's too much for me again just at the moment I regret. So far today we've not conversed and Crystal's now sat in Irina's room as she's out shopping. I'm definitely 'persona non grata'. I could make it to a seat near home on the sea front, but I just don't think she's interested any more?

We had a wonderful TV series on Battersea Dog's Home here which finished last night and when I can drive again maybe I'll go have a look and see if there's a little soul (puppy this time) needing love and help?

Martin! Martin! NOOOOO!!!!! This cannot be happening to you....

You are just the best daddy ever - Harry WILL NOT stand for this!!!!

I'm not sure if this will give you any comfort - but 'Andys weekend' is Sunday/Monday. When he goes back to work on Tuesday mornings, Harry doesn't actually forgive him until Thursday-night-ish, EVERY week?

Oh, and by the way, I was born and bred in Battersea - the Dogs Home was one of our weekend go-to visits when I was a little girl....I think your heart might be wrenched, and you might come home with a couple of dozen.... Sally x

[Harrysmum]

By the way - never, EVER look on Battersea Dogs & Cats Home, rehoming dogs and cats, promoting responsible pet ownership - Battersea Dogs & Cats Home ..... Sally x

[docmartin]

Originally Posted by Harrysmum

Martin! Martin! NOOOOO!!!!! This cannot be happening to you....

You are just the best daddy ever - Harry WILL NOT stand for this!!!!

I'm not sure if this will give you any comfort - but 'Andys weekend' is Sunday/Monday. When he goes back to work on Tuesday mornings, Harry doesn't actually forgive him until Thursday-night-ish, EVERY week?

Oh, and by the way, I was born and bred in Battersea - the Dogs Home was one of our weekend go-to visits when I was a little girl....I think your heart might be wrenched, and you might come home with a couple of dozen.... Sally x

Hello Sal,

Apparently Crystal goes on my bed whenever I'm away and frets big time, until I return. Certainly the greeting is ecstatic, but this past week I'm on the reject list and she's not been in to see me in the evenings for about a month now.

My heart went out to those poor little abandoned pups that upset Paul o' Grady so much on 'For the love of Dogs'. Especially the two little souls that eventually lost the fight for life. I just don't know whats up with Crystal, maybe I've spoiled her too much, perhaps her 1st season etc?

Anyway, my closest friend's mother was a breed champion at Crufts with miniature Dachshunds and although at 75 she's now given up, she still acts as a regional foster mother for a re-homing centre. I remember her last Champion really well and indeed had him to live with me 16 years ago, when they visited Lou's family in Virginia for a month. We got on really well and he was a delightful little fella - loved the car too as I recall.

Presently she's got a 14 week old long haired pup, whom she's nursed, after her mother died three days after giving birth. She's thinking of keeping her, but said this afternoon come and meet her, she'll melt your heart! They live in Brandon Suffolk about two hours away so I'll have a look in on the weekend?

To be fair to Crystal, we have been talking about another dog for a few months now anyway and nearly took on a year old Yorkie bitch from the Toy Breed Rescue centre a few weeks ago, but were beaten to it on that occasion.

[Harrysmum]

Suffolk sounds like a plan - a quick turn on the Broads en route - are you able to drive there ok? Just wondering how/if I can help.... Sally x

[docmartin]

Originally Posted by Harrysmum

Suffolk sounds like a plan - a quick turn on the Broads en route - are you able to drive there ok? Just wondering how/if I can help.... Sally x

Thanks Sal, your very kind. I can drive fine and also now get to the car and after a while extricate myself too. The spines getting better every day now as well. It's a joy to have movement again. They used to have a beautiful boat on the broads at Oulton (36 footer) that they shared with their son, where we shared many happy times...

[yorkietalkjilly]

Since dogs recognize us mostly by our scent, the odd scents of the hospital and things you came in contact with, your obvious discomfort and the way you changed your lifestyle for a while after surgery, the stopping your frequent walks with her likely made her wary of you and think you changed somehow toward her(everything is our fault to them) and the different scents from the surgical suite and hospital perhaps reminded her of something bad in her past. If you have materially changed in your habits or actions due to surgery, she could be taking that personally. Then, her estrus hits her system and she's further thrown off kilter.

I believe I would try a test - just quietly cover myself with treats and sit in the recliner and ask your wife to put her down on you and see what happens. If she eats all the treats and comes back to check and see if more are there, she's likely going to be okay. If she jumps down immediately and runs off, that will tell us that she still senses something very different about you. And if she does eat all the treats during your test, you could sit with the her dinner and hand-feed her her breakfast and dinner for a couple of days, just to show her you are there for her.

[Mistymillar]

Originally Posted by Harrysmum

Martin! Martin! NOOOOO!!!!! This cannot be happening to you....

You are just the best daddy ever - Harry WILL NOT stand for this!!!!

I'm not sure if this will give you any comfort - but 'Andys weekend' is Sunday/Monday. When he goes back to work on Tuesday mornings, Harry doesn't actually forgive him until Thursday-night-ish, EVERY week?

Oh, and by the way, I was born and bred in Battersea - the Dogs Home was one of our weekend go-to visits when I was a little girl....I think your heart might be wrenched, and you might come home with a couple of dozen.... Sally x

[lesliei]

A few year ago my partner came home a bit tipsy after going to a friends party. Our dog Molly didn't look at the time as if anything was wrong but after this event if my partner went out and even just had one drink, Molly would ignore her and stick to me. It lasted a few months before normality returned. Don't know why all this happened it stopped as quick as it started and went back to going mental and licking your face off when you got home.
It was deffo the cold shoulder and probally cos it was the only time she saw her mum tipsy. Didn't bother me cos I got all the attention hahaa

[KeeganRiley]

Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly

Since dogs recognize us mostly by our scent, the odd scents of the hospital and things you came in contact with, your obvious discomfort and the way you changed your lifestyle for a while after surgery, the stopping your frequent walks with her likely made her wary of you and think you changed somehow toward her(everything is our fault to them) and the different scents from the surgical suite and hospital perhaps reminded her of something bad in her past. If you have materially changed in your habits or actions due to surgery, she could be taking that personally. Then, her estrus hits her system and she's further thrown off kilter.

This is what I was thinking. An alteration in scent, in gait, in routine--and then she was feeling out-of-sorts herself on top of it all. She's not sure what is positively correlated with what. She needs reassurance and patience, certainly, and she may feel less wary (or clingy) once you're feeling and acting more like the daddy she'd known before the strange events in your lives.

P.S. Heal well and quickly!