I guess my husband doesn't love dogs

[princessbunbun]

He made it clear this morning. Just moments ago when he stepped in poop in bare feet. He screamed: "This is a violation of my comfort zone and if you fail to train that dog to poop outside - she has to GO!"

It doesn't bother me what he said/the ultimatum... it's what came after that. I don't give a rat's a$$ about that dog.

I ALWAYS suspected this. I just don't get people who don't love dogs (or other animals for that matter!). As I'm writing this I have tears welling in my eyes. It's a terrible thing to know about your husband and I know that I'm judging his entire character on whether or not he has the capacity to love an animal and this is wrong of me, but I can't seem to separate out my feelings or see things rationally.

This dog means the world to me. I have a very hard time with winters (anxiety attacks / depression) and this little girl has brightened my outlook and lifted me in a way I cannot describe. I call her Princess Prozac because I don't have to take medicine with her in my life.

I'm very upset right now...
-Lisa

[bchgirl]

I'm very sorry....and hope what he said that out of anger.

I'll say this...with all the joy a dog brings into someone life...what's a little poop?

I'd prefer mine didn't destroy things or have accidents too...but we accept the trade.

[poppys mummy]

oh my gosh , you are going through a tough time hopefully she will be housetrained soon my husband would not put me in that position but if he did i am afraid poppy would win does he not realise you might become unwell again without her fingers crossed for you , good luck , love jill n poppy xx

[PandaGirl]

I don't blame him for being a little pissed off. People need to understand not everyone likes dogs, that does not make them bad people. I hope your little one after some time grows on him and he changes his mind
Good Luck

[RDB911]

People says a lot of things out of anger.
But if this is his true feelings you may want to evaluate your relationship.

For me personally speaking, I will never date/marry anyone who doesn't care for animals. They play a BIG part in my life and if someone can't deal with them it's time to move on.

[gemy]

Originally Posted by princessbunbun

He made it clear this morning. Just moments ago when he stepped in poop in bare feet. He screamed: "This is a violation of my comfort zone and if you fail to train that dog to poop outside - she has to GO!"

It doesn't bother me what he said/the ultimatum... it's what came after that. I don't give a rat's a$$ about that dog.

I ALWAYS suspected this. I just don't get people who don't love dogs (or other animals for that matter!). As I'm writing this I have tears welling in my eyes. It's a terrible thing to know about your husband and I know that I'm judging his entire character on whether or not he has the capacity to love an animal and this is wrong of me, but I can't seem to separate out my feelings or see things rationally.

This dog means the world to me. I have a very hard time with winters (anxiety attacks / depression) and this little girl has brightened my outlook and lifted me in a way I cannot describe. I call her Princess Prozac because I don't have to take medicine with her in my life.

I'm very upset right now...
-Lisa

I hear your upsetness. I have tears in my eyes reading this. I'd like to put to one side, what your husband response means or doesn't mean to his character, and just focus on the practicalities for a moment.

Back when I was "training" Razz it was wintertime, and I didn';t want him out in the cold in the backyard, we had a record winter for snow that year. And quite simply I was used to another breed that was housetrained easily. But I also had no idea about potty pad training, and quite frankly I was too lax in that regard. My hubby exploded one day, and said you are not training this dog well, get with it! My hubby is a dog lover over and over again. But still he exploded at me. This explosion sat me back.
I looked over what I had failed to do with this indoor business, and said later to him, you are right I have not trained this dog well.

So I changed things a lot. Became much more disciplined on bringing him to his potty pad after eating, sleeping, coming out of crate etc. I became very vigilant to always look to see if there were "accidents". Guess what he became very good on the potty training, and my husband saw my effort, and supported it. For example when he would take Razz out of his crate in the morning, he would carry him to his peepad, and make sure he pee'd.

It might or might not be true in the long run that your husband doesn't give a Rat's A$$ about the dog, but if she becomes a good member of your household that will take away some of his concern.

In terms of your hubby, all I will say after 5 decades living, is men often say in anger what they don't really totally one hundred percent mean.

Get her trained, be first to notice her mistakes, clean up fast. She means the world to you, so this should be easy for you to do. Once this has happened, see how your hubby reacts.

[JeanieK]

I would not make a judgement based soley on he copes with stepping in dog poop.

I tell that to my dogs everytime I step in it, that if they don't learn to poop outside they are all going to have to go. As soon as the mess is cleaned up, I'm back to loving on them.

[yorkieusa]

I hope that was a momentary lapse on his part. Perhaps you should consider an x-pen with a pad in it to keep things on an even keel. You may need to take up poop patrol, too. I wouldn't pay too much heed to what was said in anger. I would use an x-pen and seriously consider poop patrol though. I hope your day gets better.

[salazark]

Originally Posted by gemy

I hear your upsetness. I have tears in my eyes reading this. I'd like to put to one side, what your husband response means or doesn't mean to his character, and just focus on the practicalities for a moment.

Back when I was "training" Razz it was wintertime, and I didn';t want him out in the cold in the backyard, we had a record winter for snow that year. And quite simply I was used to another breed that was housetrained easily. But I also had no idea about potty pad training, and quite frankly I was too lax in that regard. My hubby exploded one day, and said you are not training this dog well, get with it! My hubby is a dog lover over and over again. But still he exploded at me. This explosion sat me back.
I looked over what I had failed to do with this indoor business, and said later to him, you are right I have not trained this dog well.

So I changed things a lot. Became much more disciplined on bringing him to his potty pad after eating, sleeping, coming out of crate etc. I became very vigilant to always look to see if there were "accidents". Guess what he became very good on the potty training, and my husband saw my effort, and supported it. For example when he would take Razz out of his crate in the morning, he would carry him to his peepad, and make sure he pee'd.

It might or might not be true in the long run that your husband doesn't give a Rat's A$$ about the dog, but if she becomes a good member of your household that will take away some of his concern.

In terms of your hubby, all I will say after 5 decades living, is men often say in anger what they don't really totally one hundred percent mean.

Get her trained, be first to notice her mistakes, clean up fast. She means the world to you, so this should be easy for you to do. Once this has happened, see how your hubby reacts.

Great response. I think the key is for your husband to see genuine effort from both you and Princess. Hang in there!!

[boopster]

I think I understand how upset you must feel. George didn't want another dog after my Bungee died but he gave in when he understood how important it was to me. I'm extremely careful about supervising Tallulah so she can't be the innocent cause of a rift -- when I can't have my eye on her and clean up any accidents immediately, she's in one of her x-pens.

Could your husband be jealous of the dog?

[princessbunbun]

What a beautiful outpouring of support. Thank you all so much. We've had a ton of snow here and I have issues letting her outside because even with two shirts and a sweater she shivers. And that freaks me out because my anxiety attacks are triggered by cold. I am basically aware of her every move throughout the day and she's always by my side... it's only when the snow is SO high or it's so freezing that I allow her to poop in the house. She ALWAYS misses the pee-pee pad with poop but she uses the pad without fail for peeing.

I'm going to read and re-read these posts and take some time to absorb the thoughts here. Thanks for taking the time and showing how much you care.

Hugs, Lisa

[roseylovestosho]

My boyfriend said the same thing when my Teddy peed on his bed. He wanted to play with him, and when I saw him taking Teddy into his room I told him to watch him...he said "yeah okay got it," and the next thing I know he came back screaming put Teddy in his crate and said "I don't give a #$@% about your dog! He peed on my bed! Clean it!" I was so angry/upset/crying I just looked at Teddy and left to clean it. Because I was angry I blamed him for the mistake since I TOLD HIM to WATCH HIM, he decided to put the dog on the bed and turn away to do something else...of course he was going to have an accident! Well, thankfully the incident is behind us, but in my personal experience I think people are less forgiving about a pet's mistakes if it isn't their own pet. In his mind (and I'm sure in your husband's too) the event in question would have NEVER occurred if "you" did not decide to have a dog in the first place. Personally, if the scenario was reversed and someone else's dog peed on my bed I think I would have been extremely angry except I probably wouldn't have said anything mean because I'm not the type of person to blurt things out when I'm angry, but I probably would have silently said the same thing to myself or in my head. I doubt your husband will "make you" get rid of the dog (if he is anything like my boyfriend, or most people for that matter) I think he just doesn't like to be put in a situation that he sees is not a direct result of his own choices...either way hang in there.

[lisaly]

I understand why you are feeling so upset and hurt, and I am hoping your husband was just reacting in anger and didn't really mean to say what he did. I am so sorry this happened to you. I understand if someone has a fear of dogs based on something happening in the past, but I wonder about people who dislike dogs. It is such a huge part of what I value, and I'd have a difficult time with all of this too. The most important issue is how you feel about your little girl. Not only does she make you feel happy, she helps you emotionally and you love her. Your husband doesn't have to love her, but he needs to respect that you do and that you need her. I would continue with the training and eventually you will be successful. My heart would be broken too if that was said to me, but you need to let your husband know how much your baby means to you and, hopefully, it was just said in the anger of the moment.

[107barney]

Lisa
I'm sorry your husband made you feel badly. Trust me though, after they step in poop enough times they get over it. Some dogs even crap in their dad's slippers (I'm thinking of Pebbles!) so it could be worse.
Life is too short, poop can be cleaned, tell your husband to get over it, and be happy

[Patti]

I am sorry you are so upset. As the others have said, hopefully he was just really angry about stepping it poop. My DH has stepped in wet spots and poop and sometimes yells when they are all barking but he gets over it. The next thing I know he is loving on one or another of them. I have days where I threaten to run away if they don't start behaving, then I realize I am the one responsible for training them to be good living companions. I hope you can relax and enjoy the day. Winters are hard on people.