Desperate! Need advice

[JamieP]

Hello everyone! I am new to this site and from what I'm reading you are all such wonderful and caring people I already feel blessed to have found this site.

I am in a desperate state at this point and need your help. I made a tough decision yesterday to part with one of my yorkies due to my lack of financial ability to take care of her. She is not in a health crisis, per se, but there were things that needed to be addressed that I could no longer handle financially. I am laid off from my job until they call me back. Could be weeks, could be months. I also have 2 other dogs that need care as well but Ciera was the one that needed the most care thus why it was her I needed to part with. She is 11 almost 12 yo and her care and needs are escalating.
Here's the thing....
I had checked with a local shelter for help in finding her a home. Trusting them to make sure the home was right for my baby. A lady called me the next day telling me that she wanted Ciera and to bring her by the next day for delivery. When I got there yesterday, her house looked great on the outside. When I got inside she scuttled me off into a dining room which also seemed ok. Not dirty, but cluttered. We sat down and she met my Ciera. I didn't expect the meeting to go great. Ciera clung to me and was panicing which crushed my soul! The lady told me that she would make sure she got love and health care and that after a month or so when Ciera was adjusted to her and her home I could even come and visit. (I was surprised!!!) She had me write down in a notebook that I was giving her the dog because she said this happened to her once before that a guy gave her his dog for the same reason and ended up coming after the dog a month later because he couldn't deal with being without him. After I did this, I followed this woman into the livingroom where I found clutter EVERYWHERE! On chairs, all over the floor. There was urine stains in the carpet! Just apalling!! She told me it was a mess because she had been going thru some things to give away, and that she was going to have the carpets shampooed. I reluctantly left her because of my initial reasons but now I'm feeling as tho care or not she was better off with me. I am very clean and that's what she's used to! What do you all think? If I did want her back could I even get her since she made me write that out?
I trust you all to give me some great advice. I'm sooo upset!!!!!!!

[J_is_my_initial]

I hate to say it, but if you wrote that out, you have given her away. I do not think you would be able to get her back. I personally would not judge someone about their cluttered home. Mine is cluttered somewhat. I do not have the storage that I need. She maybe telling the truth on the carpets. It would be great if my carpets were cleaned as well. But it takes time to rent a cleaner and have time to do that. Just my opinion.

[JamieP]

Originally Posted by J_is_my_initial

I hate to say it, but if you wrote that out, you have given her away. I do not think you would be able to get her back. I personally would not judge someone about their cluttered home. Mine is cluttered somewhat. I do not have the storage that I need. She maybe telling the truth on the carpets. It would be great if my carpets were cleaned as well. But it takes time to rent a cleaner and have time to do that. Just my opinion.

Thanks! Yes, I know some people can't help the clutter in their homes, and I didn't mean to sound critical of that. This was just a LOT of it. You couldn't sit!! Honestly it was like walking into a hoarders house! I watch that on TV and that's what it reminded me of! I know it doesn't mean she wont care for her. I'm sure she will but it's just got me so distraught thinking about it.

[sherile]

If it was me, I'd go get her. So what if you signed something, I'm sure it wasn't a legal contract. Was your dog spayed? If not, how do you know she won't try to breed her, even as old as she is? If you are having 2nd thoughts, go get her. If you felt comfortable about leaving her, you would not be having 2nd thoughts, you'd just be missing her. Go get her. Now.

[BellaBlue82]

Originally Posted by sherile

If it was me, I'd go get her. So what if you signed something, I'm sure it wasn't a legal contract. Was your dog spayed? If not, how do you know she won't try to breed her, even as old as she is? If you are having 2nd thoughts, go get her. If you felt comfortable about leaving her, you would not be having 2nd thoughts, you'd just be missing her. Go get her. Now.

Unfortunately, a document like that would hold up in court. So many people use hand written notes to sell used cars in 'as is' condition, and to make many other type of transactions when a formal contract cannot be typed up. By signing your name underneath where you state that you are permenantly giving up your pup, it makes it final. Your one hope (and hopefully you had the sense to have this added into your 'contract') is that she said you could come and visit him whenever you wanted, so I would take her up on that. If you see any signs of neglect, or if after it's been over a month and her home is still in the condition that it's in, you could always file a complaint with your local ASPCA and maybe they could help you get your dog back, contract be damned? Good luck, I hope this lady is able to give your pup the care that he needs.

[JamieP]

Originally Posted by sherile

If it was me, I'd go get her. So what if you signed something, I'm sure it wasn't a legal contract. Was your dog spayed? If not, how do you know she won't try to breed her, even as old as she is? If you are having 2nd thoughts, go get her. If you felt comfortable about leaving her, you would not be having 2nd thoughts, you'd just be missing her. Go get her. Now.

Yes, she is spayed. So she cannot be used to breed. I say the same thing about the 'contract'. I didn't add it in there that I was given the right to see her since it was told to me after the fact.
The thing is that I'm trying to do what's best for Ciera since my reasons for doing this were done out of my love for her and the need I had for her to be cared for. I know the woman is an animal lover. She showed me pictures that she had professionally done of the dogs she had in the past. Her sister had also told me in a phone conversation that her sister was more than capable of giving my baby the health care she needs. I have to wonder if I'm just suffering separation anxiety and am looking for reasons to get her back? or if my cause for concern is just. Are these things harder for us than they are on the animals?? The separation, I mean. Because I'm suffering from being without her for many reasons. Not knowing if this was the right place for her is a main one! Thank you all for helping me!

[yorkie_mama22]

I'm on the fence here. Personally sometimes my house gets pretty darn messy, 3 dogs two kids and a hubby. People leave dishes out, toys, socks all over the place. I also have clutter but it is under control. I just don't see how come the lady didn't clean her house before you came? If I know I am having company over you will never find my home in that condition. I don't think I would of left my dog there. If there is so much clutter around I must assume this lady may be a hoarder and those kind of situations only get worse. Urine in the carpet? That is gross. Yes my dogs pee on the carpet some times but I always spray it down and clean it up, you won't find stains like that on my carpet, that isn't sanitary. I am not the cleanest person and sometimes I have messes too but I don't let it get super bad. If you have animals in the home, it should be SAFE AND CLEAN. What if your dog eats something or has some of that clutter fall on her, what if she trips and hurts herself jumping off something. I would tell the lady Im sorry but after a night of thinking you do not think that is the right home for her.

[JamieP]

Originally Posted by yorkie_mama22

I'm on the fence here. Personally sometimes my house gets pretty darn messy, 3 dogs two kids and a hubby. People leave dishes out, toys, socks all over the place. I also have clutter but it is under control. I just don't see how come the lady didn't clean her house before you came? If I know I am having company over you will never find my home in that condition. I don't think I would of left my dog there. If there is so much clutter around I must assume this lady may be a hoarder and those kind of situations only get worse. Urine in the carpet? That is gross. Yes my dogs pee on the carpet some times but I always spray it down and clean it up, you won't find stains like that on my carpet, that isn't sanitary. I am not the cleanest person and sometimes I have messes too but I don't let it get super bad. If you have animals in the home, it should be SAFE AND CLEAN. What if your dog eats something or has some of that clutter fall on her, what if she trips and hurts herself jumping off something. I would tell the lady Im sorry but after a night of thinking you do not think that is the right home for her.

I agree with you which you understand my fears in this. Exactly!!!! I am wondering about the paper she made me sign. I am wondering if anyone knows if this is legal???? I don't want to approach her with this until I know I have a leg to stand on. If I can't get her, you can bet if I pulled this on her, it would kill any chance of my ever seeing Ciera again. Ya know??? I don't know if I can be held to that and I don't have the money to take her to court....

[toke]

Instead of making any kind of comment to the woman, or making any decision of your own at this point....why not just call and say you're suffering agonies of missing Ciera and need to see her right away to ease your mind.

See what the woman says. See how Ciera is doing. Go from there. As for mess...that's nothing, IMO. It's all about the love and attention and care, you know? I don't think dogs have any conception whatsoever of proper housecleaning. That's all in our heads.

[JamieP]

Originally Posted by toke

Instead of making any kind of comment to the woman, or making any decision of your own at this point....why not just call and say you're suffering agonies of missing Ciera and need to see her right away to ease your mind.

See what the woman says. See how Ciera is doing. Go from there. As for mess...that's nothing, IMO. It's all about the love and attention and care, you know? I don't think dogs have any conception whatsoever of proper housecleaning. That's all in our heads.

I did do that and she wont allow it until Ciera is acclimated. I begged and pleaded and she just said she is trying to look out for Ciera and doesn't want her to get upset or confused!

[lulumom]

i do not believe the form you signed would hold up in a court of law even if she attempted to pursue a case against you.

a genuine rescue organization would have actual forms you would sign. they would not, at least as far as i've ever heard, have you write a note on a piece of paper. that alone would have made me question her true motives.

that said, if you're going to get her, you need to do so sooner rather than later.

[toke]

I can't imagine that someone would be willing to take a 12 year old, sick pooch for some nefarious purpose. Seriously, why would they?

[JamieP]

Originally Posted by lulumom

i do not believe the form you signed would hold up in a court of law even if she attempted to pursue a case against you.

that said, if you're going to get her, you need to do so sooner rather than later.

I agree. Plus I still have her AKC papers. I'm just worried for her. The place was disgusting. She had another yorkie there that was in a DIAPER because she said it peed everywhere. When I walked into the livingroom, I witnessed the dog pee even thru the 'diaper' and then it pooped in the floor shortly before I left! My Ciera is housebroken! That could also send her in another direction. I don't know, if the conditions of the home were different, this would be hard and I would miss her but I wouldn't be panicing that I did the wrong thing.

[lulumom]

let me add this....

if you do go get her and want to provide her a loving home, i would suggest one of the rescues you can read about here on yt. there are folks on here who go so far and above the call of duty when it comes to taking care of these little ones you might find it hard to believe. i am humbled by them.

[BonBon]

If you are really concerned, do everything you can to get her back. Then, contact a reputable yorkie rescue group. They will check vet references, personal references and do home inspections - everything possible to make sure your girl goes to a wonderful home. Is there no possibility of your getting the Care Credit that you can apply for at the vet? I'm praying for you and your girl.