Owner Separation Anxiety?! - YorkieTalk.com Forums

JenniLeigh · 05-17-2009, 04:59 PM

My boyfriend and I have had our beautiful 16 week old Yorkie girl, Kaia, for over a month and a half now. She's been an amazing joy and we have hours of laughs and smiles with her. However, we haven't even been able to leave without her. I've gone as far as having even groceries delivered because I can't stand to leave her. I know we need to get a bit firm but just a week ago I was visiting my mother in Delaware, who has a Maltese and two cats with a huge backyard. I felt guilty bringing her back to our loft in San Francisco without any playmates or grass close by! We'll be moving into a larger place at the end of June that accommodates to animals better (not JUST for her!)

She plays by herself, quite amusingly and is doing great with the puppy pads but we're trying to figure out a way for us to feel at ease when we leave her alone. We have thought about getting her a playmate, another Yorkie or toy sized breed for her. But, I'm concerned with raising two pups around the same age due to training issues and for the sole fact of us having to leave two puppies alone, may be even harder. Plus, after hours of searching, it's suggested to wait until a year apart or so. I have listed so many pros and cons about getting Kaia a brother, but I would love some suggestions. My boyfriend and I have not spent ANY time alone!

kalina82 · 05-17-2009, 05:08 PM

Welcome to YT!

I know getting a puppy is very exciting, and it can be very worrisome. However i think you may have a problem. You need to leave your puppy alone at some point. You cannot spend all your time with them. You are going to create some serious issues in your puppy. IMO not going even grocery shopping because you don't want to leave her is ridiculous.

You can make a safe place for her when you leave so you don't have to worry. Purchase an ex-pen. In that ex-pen place her food and water dishes, a pee pad (if that's how you are training), some non-edible toys, and a bed. This is her safe haven. She will be perfectly fine in there for an hour or so while you are gone. Its also great for time when you are home and can't watch her for whatever reason (showering, long telephone calls, alone time with the BF).

Also you don't necessarily need to get her a playmate for her to be entertained while alone. Plus i think you'd just be even more worried about the 2 of them. Puppy are like children, they need to learn to self sooth in my opinion. It will help with future anxiety issues, boredom, and behavioral issues.

JenniLeigh · 05-17-2009, 05:19 PM

Thanks! I definitely agree, it's really becoming fearsome that I'm hurting her in the long run by coddling her too much. If I hear a slight cry or whine, I almost want to cry myself. When I lived with my parents, having a puppy seemed SO easy, of course while my mother was the primary caretaker. I'm totally going crazy...

Patti · 05-17-2009, 05:27 PM

Welcome. It can be overwhelming when you get your first puppy on your own but it is so worth the stress and worry. They do settle down in to your routine. I had single dogs for many years and they did fine when left alone while I was at work. Now that I am retired I have multiples and love it. They do keep each other company and play together. So either way your baby should settle into your routine and you will not be so stessed. Hang in there!

sandyapk · 05-18-2009, 12:57 AM

Patti,
Your getting some really sound advice. I wish I would of gotten an ex pen early on , and used it with Mia. It makes things so easy for YOU! They are easy to transport and wherever you are, you can have a safe place to put your new baby! You can attach a crate to it, so they have their familiar place to sleep. After a short adjustment time, it will be a familiar, safe place for them to be. If someone comes to the front door, you can pop them in an ex pen and no worries of running out. If you need to run to the store, you can also leave knowing your dog will not be getting into things. Lots of us here, leave the tv on when we leave. Leaving your dog is good for both of you. Maybe start out with short trips. When you shower, run out to check the mail, and then extend it. It is healthy for your dog. Heaven forbid your dog ever get sick and need to go to the vet, or have an overnight stay for spay. You really want your dog comfortable with other people, and familiar with being alone once in awhile. It will all work out. Glad you are here and asking questions. We all learn from each other!!

05-17-2009, 04:59 PM	#1
JenniLeigh Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: May 2009 Location: San Francisco, CA Posts: 101	Owner Separation Anxiety?! My boyfriend and I have had our beautiful 16 week old Yorkie girl, Kaia, for over a month and a half now. She's been an amazing joy and we have hours of laughs and smiles with her. However, we haven't even been able to leave without her. I've gone as far as having even groceries delivered because I can't stand to leave her. I know we need to get a bit firm but just a week ago I was visiting my mother in Delaware, who has a Maltese and two cats with a huge backyard. I felt guilty bringing her back to our loft in San Francisco without any playmates or grass close by! We'll be moving into a larger place at the end of June that accommodates to animals better (not JUST for her!) She plays by herself, quite amusingly and is doing great with the puppy pads but we're trying to figure out a way for us to feel at ease when we leave her alone. We have thought about getting her a playmate, another Yorkie or toy sized breed for her. But, I'm concerned with raising two pups around the same age due to training issues and for the sole fact of us having to leave two puppies alone, may be even harder. Plus, after hours of searching, it's suggested to wait until a year apart or so. I have listed so many pros and cons about getting Kaia a brother, but I would love some suggestions. My boyfriend and I have not spent ANY time alone!

05-17-2009, 05:08 PM	#2
kalina82 Phantom Queen Morrigan Donating Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: with my yorkie baby Posts: 10,141 Blog Entries: 1	Welcome to YT! I know getting a puppy is very exciting, and it can be very worrisome. However i think you may have a problem. You need to leave your puppy alone at some point. You cannot spend all your time with them. You are going to create some serious issues in your puppy. IMO not going even grocery shopping because you don't want to leave her is ridiculous. You can make a safe place for her when you leave so you don't have to worry. Purchase an ex-pen. In that ex-pen place her food and water dishes, a pee pad (if that's how you are training), some non-edible toys, and a bed. This is her safe haven. She will be perfectly fine in there for an hour or so while you are gone. Its also great for time when you are home and can't watch her for whatever reason (showering, long telephone calls, alone time with the BF). Also you don't necessarily need to get her a playmate for her to be entertained while alone. Plus i think you'd just be even more worried about the 2 of them. Puppy are like children, they need to learn to self sooth in my opinion. It will help with future anxiety issues, boredom, and behavioral issues. __________________ Kellie and Morgan

05-17-2009, 05:27 PM	#4
Patti Donating YT 30K Club Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Illinois Posts: 35,509 Blog Entries: 6	Welcome. It can be overwhelming when you get your first puppy on your own but it is so worth the stress and worry. They do settle down in to your routine. I had single dogs for many years and they did fine when left alone while I was at work. Now that I am retired I have multiples and love it. They do keep each other company and play together. So either way your baby should settle into your routine and you will not be so stessed. Hang in there! __________________ Cali Pixie Roxie : RIP Nikki; RIP Maya;RIP my sweet Dixie girl 1/17/08 http://callipuppyscastle.bravehost.com/index.html

05-17-2009, 05:19 PM	#3
JenniLeigh Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: May 2009 Location: San Francisco, CA Posts: 101	Thanks! I definitely agree, it's really becoming fearsome that I'm hurting her in the long run by coddling her too much. If I hear a slight cry or whine, I almost want to cry myself. When I lived with my parents, having a puppy seemed SO easy, of course while my mother was the primary caretaker. I'm totally going crazy...

05-18-2009, 12:57 AM	#5
sandyapk Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: at home Posts: 515	Patti, Your getting some really sound advice. I wish I would of gotten an ex pen early on , and used it with Mia. It makes things so easy for YOU! They are easy to transport and wherever you are, you can have a safe place to put your new baby! You can attach a crate to it, so they have their familiar place to sleep. After a short adjustment time, it will be a familiar, safe place for them to be. If someone comes to the front door, you can pop them in an ex pen and no worries of running out. If you need to run to the store, you can also leave knowing your dog will not be getting into things. Lots of us here, leave the tv on when we leave. Leaving your dog is good for both of you. Maybe start out with short trips. When you shower, run out to check the mail, and then extend it. It is healthy for your dog. Heaven forbid your dog ever get sick and need to go to the vet, or have an overnight stay for spay. You really want your dog comfortable with other people, and familiar with being alone once in awhile. It will all work out. Glad you are here and asking questions. We all learn from each other!!