Really long post....need advice. - YorkieTalk.com Forums

tokes · 03-03-2009, 07:31 AM

My Yorkie who is almost 2 years old, is very timid. He is also very attached to me when I'm home. He doesn't have separation anxiety, though. He's always hiding under my bed or the couch - if there's enough space, he'll stay there for hours, just hanging out or sleeping.

I've had him since 8 weeks, and gave him to a family friend when I realized I needed to focus more on school (around 7-8 months, and I did not realize this was the family he would be given to - more of an explanation later). I never thought it was the right fit, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt. When she would bring him to visit, he never wanted me to leave his sight. I figured he wasn't happy..I just had this feeling. I took him back about 6 months later.

He was neutered while with her, and seems even more timid now than when he left. I have a sneaking suspicion that he had been spanked as a form of discipline. I've never hit him -- to test my theory, I come towards him, as if I were going to hit him, and he gets pretty freaked out/scared. I mean, if he never was hit before, he wouldn't get that scared, because he wouldn't know what I was preparing to do, right? Anyway, it makes me sad that he's so timid, even towards me.

I knew that I was going to have to break his heart again, because I have so much going on, and can't give him the time and dedication he needs and deserves. I won't go into detail about it, but I know right now isn't the right time to have a dog.

Tomorrow, I'm flying him out to California, where my aunt has three Yorkies. She is paying for our flight out there, and I will be there with him for three days. Since she has a fenced backyard, and the weather is so nice there, she leaves the door open, so they can run out freely and use the bathroom if needed. I bought him a belly band so that he doesn't mark her house, as he has mine.

Tokyo gets anywhere from 3-4 walks a day, but I know that is not enough exercise for him. So, in turn, he's gotten more aggressive these past few weeks. I know it's not fair to him, so that's one of the reasons why I feel he will be happier in California. He will have 3 new siblings, and I hope he will get on well with him. My aunt works 5 minutes away from home and can come home during the day to check on them. My cousins who have visited from Cali adore him, so I know he will be taken care of.

The thing is, he doesn't like being handled by anyone other than me. Not even by my sisters or parents. I'm hoping with his new family, he will become more socialized and friendly.

He was well socialized as a puppy, but is became less frequent as he got older. My boyfriend's family has a lab mix (he's huge!) and Tokyo tries to bite, nip, and attack Steeler. Steeler is very friendly and means no harm to Tokyo. I hope he isn't this way when he meets his new siblings.

NOW! On to my questions!

I'm sorry -- I always write long entries, but I want to make sure my questions have good background information, so my answers can be as informative as possible.

1. Will he eventually get over his aggression towards animals? We he be able to successfully co-habitate with his new siblings in a timely manner? I want the meet-up to go off without a hitch! I want him to be happy that he has playmates and a family that loves him very much.

2. Will he be sad that I won't be in his life anymore? He's so attached to me, I find it hard to believe that he'll be OK without me. I know that seems so stupid and conceited, but if I'm sitting right next to him, he HAS to be sitting on my lap and no one else's. He gets very anxious if someone else is holding him, and I'm standing right across from the person. He will eventually get over it and be happy, right?

I think those are my two biggest concerns as of right now.

I feel sooo horrible, that this is the second time I'm doing this to him, but my parents gave him away the first time w/o my knowledge. I knew they wanted me to give him away, and I was in the process of searching for the perfect home. I went out to the movies, I got home, and he was gone! I was furious, because I did not get to have a say in where he would be.

If the match isn't right, I will definitely fly him back to Virginia with me. I'm very heartbroken and am afraid of how things will turn out. I just want him to be happy and healthy. I really do think this is the best thing to do and this will be his forever home. My aunt will be visiting Virginia in a few months and if it doesn't work out, she can always bring him back. I just feel terrible that I'm doing this to him again...

Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read my post.

John Stelting · 03-03-2009, 07:37 AM

I think you are doing the right thing, but I don't think you should under any circumstances take him back. I think it's just confusing him.

My 2 cents.

John

tokes · 03-03-2009, 07:40 AM

Thanks for the reply! I want this to be his forever home, and am hoping that all goes/turns out well.

bcrass2 · 03-03-2009, 07:48 AM

You poor thing!!! I agree. I think your aunt has had enough experience with yorkies to take very good care of him. My heart aches for you

I can't imagine what you are going through. Always know you had his best interest in mind!

tokes · 03-03-2009, 07:50 AM

Thank you! I am looking forward to seeing the 4 of them together!

Roxybella · 03-03-2009, 08:08 AM

Try to be calm and not apprehensive when arriving so that he will feel comfortable. Just remember that he feels your nerves.
Hope all is well with the transfer.

tokes · 03-03-2009, 08:14 AM

Oh yes, you're right. I will definitely remember to make sure I don't go in feeling anxious, so he'll be comfortable too.

03-03-2009, 07:31 AM	#1
tokes Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Lorton, VA, USA Posts: 74	Really long post....need advice. My Yorkie who is almost 2 years old, is very timid. He is also very attached to me when I'm home. He doesn't have separation anxiety, though. He's always hiding under my bed or the couch - if there's enough space, he'll stay there for hours, just hanging out or sleeping. I've had him since 8 weeks, and gave him to a family friend when I realized I needed to focus more on school (around 7-8 months, and I did not realize this was the family he would be given to - more of an explanation later). I never thought it was the right fit, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt. When she would bring him to visit, he never wanted me to leave his sight. I figured he wasn't happy..I just had this feeling. I took him back about 6 months later. He was neutered while with her, and seems even more timid now than when he left. I have a sneaking suspicion that he had been spanked as a form of discipline. I've never hit him -- to test my theory, I come towards him, as if I were going to hit him, and he gets pretty freaked out/scared. I mean, if he never was hit before, he wouldn't get that scared, because he wouldn't know what I was preparing to do, right? Anyway, it makes me sad that he's so timid, even towards me. I knew that I was going to have to break his heart again, because I have so much going on, and can't give him the time and dedication he needs and deserves. I won't go into detail about it, but I know right now isn't the right time to have a dog. Tomorrow, I'm flying him out to California, where my aunt has three Yorkies. She is paying for our flight out there, and I will be there with him for three days. Since she has a fenced backyard, and the weather is so nice there, she leaves the door open, so they can run out freely and use the bathroom if needed. I bought him a belly band so that he doesn't mark her house, as he has mine. Tokyo gets anywhere from 3-4 walks a day, but I know that is not enough exercise for him. So, in turn, he's gotten more aggressive these past few weeks. I know it's not fair to him, so that's one of the reasons why I feel he will be happier in California. He will have 3 new siblings, and I hope he will get on well with him. My aunt works 5 minutes away from home and can come home during the day to check on them. My cousins who have visited from Cali adore him, so I know he will be taken care of. The thing is, he doesn't like being handled by anyone other than me. Not even by my sisters or parents. I'm hoping with his new family, he will become more socialized and friendly. He was well socialized as a puppy, but is became less frequent as he got older. My boyfriend's family has a lab mix (he's huge!) and Tokyo tries to bite, nip, and attack Steeler. Steeler is very friendly and means no harm to Tokyo. I hope he isn't this way when he meets his new siblings. NOW! On to my questions! I'm sorry -- I always write long entries, but I want to make sure my questions have good background information, so my answers can be as informative as possible. 1. Will he eventually get over his aggression towards animals? We he be able to successfully co-habitate with his new siblings in a timely manner? I want the meet-up to go off without a hitch! I want him to be happy that he has playmates and a family that loves him very much. 2. Will he be sad that I won't be in his life anymore? He's so attached to me, I find it hard to believe that he'll be OK without me. I know that seems so stupid and conceited, but if I'm sitting right next to him, he HAS to be sitting on my lap and no one else's. He gets very anxious if someone else is holding him, and I'm standing right across from the person. He will eventually get over it and be happy, right? I think those are my two biggest concerns as of right now. I feel sooo horrible, that this is the second time I'm doing this to him, but my parents gave him away the first time w/o my knowledge. I knew they wanted me to give him away, and I was in the process of searching for the perfect home. I went out to the movies, I got home, and he was gone! I was furious, because I did not get to have a say in where he would be. If the match isn't right, I will definitely fly him back to Virginia with me. I'm very heartbroken and am afraid of how things will turn out. I just want him to be happy and healthy. I really do think this is the best thing to do and this will be his forever home. My aunt will be visiting Virginia in a few months and if it doesn't work out, she can always bring him back. I just feel terrible that I'm doing this to him again... Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read my post.

03-03-2009, 07:48 AM	#4
bcrass2 YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Snowflake, AZ, USA Posts: 672	You poor thing!!! I agree. I think your aunt has had enough experience with yorkies to take very good care of him. My heart aches for you I can't imagine what you are going through. Always know you had his best interest in mind! __________________ Chloe and Little Man's Mommy We Miss you Milo!

03-03-2009, 08:08 AM	#6
Roxybella Yorkie Talker Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: MI Posts: 17	Try to be calm and not apprehensive when arriving so that he will feel comfortable. Just remember that he feels your nerves. Hope all is well with the transfer. __________________ Bella Roxy

03-03-2009, 07:37 AM	#2
John Stelting YT Addict Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: colorado springs, co, usa Posts: 380	I think you are doing the right thing, but I don't think you should under any circumstances take him back. I think it's just confusing him. My 2 cents. John

03-03-2009, 07:40 AM	#3
tokes Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Lorton, VA, USA Posts: 74	Thanks for the reply! I want this to be his forever home, and am hoping that all goes/turns out well.

03-03-2009, 07:50 AM	#5
tokes Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Lorton, VA, USA Posts: 74	Thank you! I am looking forward to seeing the 4 of them together!

03-03-2009, 08:14 AM	#7
tokes Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Lorton, VA, USA Posts: 74	Oh yes, you're right. I will definitely remember to make sure I don't go in feeling anxious, so he'll be comfortable too.