why am I having problems bonding with my second yorkie

[Critter]

We got Samson over the summer, he is so sweet and gentle, was easy to housebreak, rarely barks and just such a great little dog. We got Harley last Friday and he is just as cute as can be, is a round butterball and overall is a little stinker. He cries all night, he is pretty dominate over Samson, is pretty vocal and the total opposite of Samson. Harley is going to be difficult to train because he is just as stubborn as can be. Mind you I really like Harley but I am not feeling bonded with him like I am Samson. Because he bullies Sam I feel very protective of Samson. I know they all come with their own personalities but I am kind of worried that I am not bonding as quickly as I was with Sam. is this normal???

[bildio]

How old are they?

[Gracie2006]

I have/had a similar issue with Holly. She is now about 1 1/2. I got her at 12 weeks. My only issue with her is more difficult with the potty training. She is more hyper than Gracie, definitely alpha dog. Here is what I figured out to be MY issue. I got Gracie first. It was just she and I for about 1 1/2 years until Holly joined us. Gracie and I bonded like butter to bread. She is still my favorite of the two. We just have that bond, relationship that is deeper than what there is with Holly and I. Gracie had bilateral LP surgery that I nursed her through. That in and of itself creates a deeper bond. Holly does not seem to know the difference, she is attached to me like Velcro. I love her dearly and slowly but surely I am developing a deeper bond with her. I think dogs accept others into their pack much faster than we humans! Just a theory.

[chachi]

Well I wasnt bonded to my 1st yorkie like I was my 2nd. I started giving Chachi extra attention and picking upo and loving on him. Now if I give Jewels any attention he comes over and expects me to give it to him also and I am as bonded to him as I am with Jewels. I think dogs know when we favor one over the other so we should try to give them equal attention

[QuickSilver]

I am bonded with Thor, but sometimes I do get frustrated. He is so terrified of EVERYTHING and every so often, I just want to speak Dog and tell him to get over it. Most of the time I love the little stinker though!

I think as humans it is natural to have preferences. It's pretty natural to get along with one of your children better than another, even though you love them all. The good news is that dogs are less sensitive to that than humans are. Your dog will never do drugs and blame it on the fact that you were nicer to his sister.

I am interested to hear what other people have to say on this topic, but I think you can accept that one dog is your "baby", and appreciate the other qualities different dogs bring to your life.

[JoeyP]

Dog behavior isn't people behvior and sometimes that collides with us understanding where they are coming from

All dogs and puppies will have their own personalities ... some are louder than others and some are more calm and quiet
When you have one pup ... they are going to try to comply with your restrictions and personality
BUT... if you bring anothe r dog into the picture that opens up another whole can of worms
because Not Only do they have to deal with You but they now also need to deal with the other dog

WhenEver you put two dogs together they ahve to figure out who is dominant and who is second
sometimes that's a smooth transition and sometimes it's rocky
and you will as alpha need to keep an eye out for aggression
if there is fighting that is one-sided
meaning the other dog is not fighting back
you get up and stare down the pup doing the fighting
With mine it EP! and I stand and point
and It repeat and step closer with each repeated infraction

If you see it as a more natural dog behavior instead of the new dog just being BAD
You will see it more clearly and it will be easier to deal with

[Critter]

to answer the question on age...Samson is almost 9 months old and Harley is 11 weeks old.

I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way, It isn't that I don't like or love Harley but I really do feel a deeper connection and bond to Samson, he is just my baby. On the other hand my DH feels a stronger connection with Harley as he says Harley is "his dog". I don't feel like Samson has totally accepted Harley either, he is still getting use to him and I wonder if that has something to do with my feelings. We just got Harley a week ago today so I know it soon but I am worried I just won't feel the same.

[JoeyP]

Careful ..... your first pup WILL pick up on your disfavor
esp since this new pup is coming into territory he originally thought was his own

[Critter]

Originally Posted by JoeyP

Careful ..... your first pup WILL pick up on your disfavor
esp since this new pup is coming into territory he originally thought was his own

It really isn't a disfavor to Harley just not as bonded. Believe me Harley is on my lap, we play together, he gets lots of hugs and kisses, both sleep next to me on the couch. It is just Samson feels more like my baby than Harley.

[feliciaicecream]

It will get easier with time. It's hard when you have one your so attached to and than another comes along and takes time from them. You feel sorry for them and I think that would make you feel differently towards the new one. I'm sure you will become much more attached once they bond. After you see that they are close it will become easier and you'll feel the same towards it. You'll always have that bond with the first and I can tell you, their one of a kind. Totally different. Good Luck....
Feliciaicecream and Donte

[Patti]

Just give it some time. When I got Roxie, I had just gone through the sudden loss of Dixie my 7 month old yorkie. Dixie was good as gold and a little doll. Roxie was given to me to "replace Dixie" and at first I had a hard time. Roxie was more active and rough and tough. It didn't take long before I fell in love. She is naughty at times but the biggest snuggler of all of mine.

[Wabbit]

Like you said it's only been 7 days! And that is not much time at all....all you see right now...in this new relationship is the negatives that Harley brings....after you work with him and teach him boundries and limitation of living in your home....then he'll behave more like you are wanting him too...however he will always have his distinct personality..

His dominating and barking at night should ease up...once that happens you might find it easier to bond with him...tjat doesn't always happen over night!! So Dont get discouraged because it's only been a week and you don't feel the same about Harley that you do with Samson.

[Critter]

Originally Posted by JoeyP

BUT... if you bring anothe r dog into the picture that opens up another whole can of worms
because Not Only do they have to deal with You but they now also need to deal with the other dog

this is a good point I had not thought of.

thanks everyone for the feedback. I don't feel as guilty now. He really is a cute dog and not bad just a little stinker compared to Samson. But I do realize they have their own little personalitites.

Today will be interesting, my parents are coming over to meet Harley and bringing their chihuahua, who is probably less dominate out of the three. So we'll see how that goes.