I don't deserve to be here and i don't deserve you all as my friends

[maxs_momma]

The guilt has been killing me and i cannot take it anymore i have to tell the truth.


Back when i first came on yt i did allot of reading before i posted and i seen how against puppy mills and byb that everyone was and i am now that i know what they are before i had no clue. But when i came on i introduced Max and said that he came from a nice lady who got him when someone in her family had passed away well not the whole story to that was true. "The lady had his mommy and daddy there for me to look at but like she told me she inherited the dogs when her uncle died and she was planning on getting them fixed anyway so she didn't see the need for searching for the papers (same here papers mean little or nothing to me it is the dog i care about). Well anyway when she took them in she found out the female was already preggers! And she said she hated charging anything for them but she had to have something to help with all the vet bills the little ones cost "(that was from my original post that was all true) Where the whole truth didn't come in is where i didn't tell what kind of shape Max came in the truth is Max came from the woman i had helped get busted in Mitchell that is why he had lice and his ears were so clogged that he couldn't hear and he smelled so bad that it made you want to throw up i was so scared at the time to tell anyone that i had bought him from someone like that because i was afraid of the backlashing that i might get i was new i didn't know anyone yet and i had no idea that you all were so caring i just know what i had read about the thoughts on byb and puppy mills and like i said now that i know what they are i feel the same i honestly had no idea what a puppy mill even was i was one of these people who would actually go in a pet store to look for a new puppy never again now that i know but up until i found this place i would have because i thought that they came from nice people who cared stupid of me i know And about my brother taking me down there with him well that was kind of backwards i kind of took him i told him it was to look at a puppy for him but i really wanted someone else to see what i saw and when i got there this time it was way worse than last time after leaving there this time i was losing sleep over it and having nightmares about it. That is when i came back on here asking what could i do and being that i hadn't told anyone about Max i just left that part out when i told about this woman and ask for advice on what i could do to stop her. I feel so horrible and the guilt has been eating at me more and more everyday you are all wonderful people and i could not go any longer knowing that i had in anyway lied to you Here is the story why i have Max the TRUTH when i went to see Max i did almost turn and walk out because of the smell well something told me to go on in so i did she handed me Max and i almost gagged i held him for a few seconds and handed him back to her to put back in the middle cage i stood up and was going to walk out when i turned and seen him sitting in that cage looking at me with those big sad eyes i just couldn't do it i couldn't leave him there so i told her okay i will take him and i did i brought him home and showed hom to hubby and he said omg that dog smells horrible give him a bath so i did and still he had a horrible smell coming from his head so i cleaned his head again and the more i cleaned the better it smelled but then he got to where he was scratching at his ears all the time and scratching at his body and his eyes were watering real bad so i took him to the vet (Friday) and my vet was out someone was filling in for him and he said he thought it was allergies and put him on benadryl well it didn't really help only helped his eyes he was still scratching so i called back and was able to get him back in Tuesday (4 days later) this time my vet was there and he took him to look him over and says this dog has lice just by looking at him he knew because you could see it and here i thought the white specks where drie skin anyway he looks in his ears and he couldn't see anything they were completely clogged with gunk so he cleaned the gunk and the hair out of his ears and put him on ear drops he said that it was ear mites Now back to the lice he ask if i had bathed him and i said yes several times and he said well then that explains why i am not seeing anything live then but i want you to give him a bath in this (shampoo he gave me) and treat him and any other dog or cat that you have with frontline even though i don't see anything live this will make sure that they are taken care of. The first night i brought Max home he was weighed and he was right at or maybe a hair under 3 lbs. he was way beyond skinny and ate like he hadn't had anything to eat in days Max started gaining weight like crazy i think i even ask on here if that was normal or safe to gain so much so fast and now that i am more educated on some of these things i know that at the time he was malnourished To be honest it killed me leaving those other pups down there i wanted to take them all with me and when i was down there the first time i didn't see the dogs outside because it was dark and they were behind her trailer i didn't actually see them until hubby took be by there Saturday and drove down the alley. From the time i had been down there the 1st to the time i went the 2nd i did call the humane society and they told me that really couldn't do anything but turn it over to authorities so i didn't just sit back and do nothing i just didn't know what else to do and you great people helped me out on that and i want to thank you for that. And now i have to say i do not feel like i should be allowed here i lied to people that i have came to care about very much and i feel like i do not deserve any of your friendships because i was not a very good friend not telling the truth and i want to say to all of you that i am very sorry.

Mary


And about the news i didn't see it on last night but i was told that it came on at 11pm my time and here is a link that my sis in law gave me about it i jsut seen it for the first time myself just a few minutes ago here is the link
and no they didn't cover my face (i wished they would have i looked like crap ) i didn't ask them to because the way they talked they were probably only going to use quotes but i have talked to authorities and i was assured not to worry that nothing would happen to me or my family that if i had one small threat come in to contact them right away and that it would be taken care of

http://www.wishtv.com/global/story.asp?s=7786662

[maxs_momma]

Also

http://www.mitchellnews.net/node/134#comment-7390

http://www.tmnews.com/stories/commen...QwODg4Ni50bXM=

[Nikki+2]

Aww, sweetie that was so sweet that you felt the need to "come clean". I understand why you would have been nervous to tell the whole story when you first joined. You had probably seen other members jumped on and who can blame you for wanting to protect yourself. We all do what we think is the right thing to do (hopefully). Your heart wouldn't let you leave Max behind so no one should judge you. Getting someone like that closed down is way more than most of us will ever accomplish!

[KissKiss]

Originally Posted by Nikki+2

Aww, sweetie that was so sweet that you felt the need to "come clean". I understand why you would have been nervous to tell the whole story when you first joined. You had probably seen other members jumped on and who can blame you for wanting to protect yourself. We all do what we think is the right thing to do (hopefully). Your heart wouldn't let you leave Max behind so no one should judge you. Getting someone like that closed down is way more than most of us will ever accomplish!

ditto... im really glad Max is doing well. I hope the other pups are ok aswell. you did a good thing

[marcerella02]

Mary... it's ok *take a deep breath* I can totally understand why you were nervous because there are some people on here who attack other people for things that aren't their fault.. what MATTERS is that you told us the truth but even MORE Than that.. that you know bybs are wrong and you are doing something to help it. PLEASE dont' feel like you shouldn't be here... we love having you on here and little Max is so cute! i can understand the guilt but please.. let it go and just enjoy YT

[maxs_momma]

Originally Posted by Nikki+2

Aww, sweetie that was so sweet that you felt the need to "come clean". I understand why you would have been nervous to tell the whole story when you first joined. You had probably seen other members jumped on and who can blame you for wanting to protect yourself. We all do what we think is the right thing to do (hopefully). Your heart wouldn't let you leave Max behind so no one should judge you. Getting someone like that closed down is way more than most of us will ever accomplish!

Thank you Nikki+2 i just feel so bad about it i feel like i lied to people that mean alot to me and to be honest i would probably feel allot better right now if everyone were lashing out at me about it instead of being so nice i don't deserve the kind words but thank you sweetheart

[chachi]

It is okay. Not all of us got our yorkes from deal situations but they are our babies now and thats whats important. Mine didnt come from the best breeder either and I never really talk about her. My yorkies didnt have any health problems or anything like that but My breeder is one that is more into it the money. She sold different breeds and had alot of dogs in her house in and out of cages.

[maxs_momma]

Originally Posted by marcerella02

Mary... it's ok *take a deep breath* I can totally understand why you were nervous because there are some people on here who attack other people for things that aren't their fault.. what MATTERS is that you told us the truth but even MORE Than that.. that you know bybs are wrong and you are doing something to help it. PLEASE dont' feel like you shouldn't be here... we love having you on here and little Max is so cute! i can understand the guilt but please.. let it go and just enjoy YT

Marcerella02 thank you so much see this is why i had to tell everyone the truth because you people are to good to keep it from you don't deserve to be lied to. I told the truth and i guess we will let everyone on here and the admin decide what should be done about me. If i am allowed to stay i def. will because i wouldn't want to leave you wonderful people you all have became like a family to me.

[Deenie]

(((hugs)))

[hha]

Now that makes a lot of sense, they show you at first, and then turn around and blacken your face..?? You did a great thing, and you should have never had to worry and feel you had to lie to anyone on here..We all love you and you have done a fantastic thing, and I can see where you were coming from, I would have done the same thing..Max is just so precious, and quite a handsome dude if I may say so...

[txrosegirl]

mary, you are just as if not more worthy of being here than other people (if you can even measure "worth" like that) ... you are a valuable community member of this forum...friendly, helpful and kind!

i think everyone who has come to YT has learned something valuable and it does not make us "bad" people that we did not have that knowledge before...i think you are a wonderful person and would never ever think badly of you for getting max from that terrible lady...you did ON YOUR OWN what most people only talk about...and for that i have the utmost respect for you {{{hugsssssssssssss}}}

[pepe mint]

Mary, it really is ok. I am sure many people have been afraid to tell certain things on here...it has grown more and more common for people to get ripped a new one for some of the silliest things...so you being afraid is understandable. I am glad that you were brave enough to come "clean" but honestly, I dont think that was totally necessary. But it does say a lot about your character. You are super sweet and I dont think anyone thinks anything bad about you. PLUS...what you did by turning that lady in was very brave...and wonderful. I am so happy that the authorities are taking this seriously. I hope she is shut down and arrested. I am glad you stepped up. And I am happy that Max has such a wonderful, loving home now.

hugs!!!!

[Rocco1]

As a newcomer here I too have read many post where most likely innocent people were bashed because of a mistake they made buying a puppy from a byb or puppy mill. The point is it was just that, a mistake. I myself was not near as educated as I am now that I have been on this board. There are a lot of wonderful people here with tons of knowledge that they are so generous in sharing. The bottom line is that you came clean and like some many of us now know not to make that mistake again.

I think you should be very proud of yourself for what you did to help those other poor dogs. And as for Max, he's probably the luckiest puppy in the world to have you love him and care for him the way you do. Don't beat yourself up just chalk it up to one of life's mistakes that we learn from.

[hha]

And also remember, if it wasn't for your love and kindness, little Max maybe wouldn't even still be here..

[celstu1]

Oh my... do you how many compassionate people who know byb and puppymills are wrong and dont want to support them but end up buying a pup bc it looks sooo sick or sad and their compassionate hearts cannot leave that baby suffering???

By reporting that woman you did the right thing... by saving Max, you gave a puppy already BORN a home! You are a good woman!