How to give a pill to a cat and a dog

[ldenise]

THIS IS SO DARNED FUNNY. I THOUGHT YOU ALL WOULD LIKE THIS.


How to give a pill to a cat and a dog
CAT:

1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As the cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and vigorously rub cat's throat.

7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make a note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9) Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of your last tetanus jab. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve the friggin' cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13) Tie the little @#!*#^~!'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table, find heavy duty Pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15) Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

DOG: Wrap pill in bacon, cheese or peanut butter. Make him beg.

[peanut]

Thanks for the post...Needed a good laugh, funny thing its soooo true...

[JeanieK]

[chattiesmom]

Why is it that the truth is so very funny?

Thanks for sharing! I needed a good laugh!

[chachi]

I have a cat and this is very true

[Dragonfly]

Thanks for the good laugh Ireally needed it.So funny I don't know if I feel sorry for the cat or the people. lol lol

[Kona]

That was great!!! It's funny how a little post like that could create such a funny picture.

[RoxyJosMom]

I,having hunt for many lost pills, washed liquids meds off everything and tended to more wounds than I care to think of, can see that entire episode happening. Hilarious!! Thanks for the day-brightener.

[deb4air]

He He ~

[wasabiprincess]

That is the Best animal joke I have seen in a LONG time! Thanks!

[Lexi Rae]

thats a good one, thanks for sharing

[Katys mom]

I like that one!

[Amber_lv]

OMG that is great i have 2 cats and trust me this is about how it goes i tried to lock one in the bathromm cause he was attacking the other one who just got nuetered and i spend the good part of and hour picking out the pieces of my shredded shirt out of my skin on my side and useing every bandaid to patch me up you can't make a cat do what it don't want to they are quicker and sometimes i think they are smarter than we are to!! lol